


Tourniquet

by The_Consigliere (JustWaitingForMyRealLifeToBegin)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Child Abuse, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-09-22 12:05:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17059463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustWaitingForMyRealLifeToBegin/pseuds/The_Consigliere
Summary: Severus knew what his father was doing was wrong, there was no denying that. But, there was no escape. Until one day, a stranger arrests his father and takes him to a hospital (The wizarding world's equivalent to a children's hospital). He is swept into the magical world as he is treated for the injuries his father inflicted upon him. However, there is more than just physical damage.





	1. Tourniquet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is brought to the hospital where he faces some challenges.

I know I don’t know much, but I do know three things. One: I really shouldn’t be forced to suck on some strangers penis to eventually have it rammed up my ass, two: I’m in a lot of pain right now, and three: my father and every single man he’s sold me to are the worst men alive. I’d much rather be a murder victim than a sex toy, but unfortunately children don’t get to choose their parents. If I could choose, I’d give myself a loving set of parents who’d never beat me. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been sexually abused by my father simply because I possess an intricate talent that he’d never dare to dream of. I know that one day, I’ll be able to attend a school that’s filled with people who are just like me; magical misfits. People who can wave wands and make powerful sparks escape. I can’t wait until I learn to do that.

In the storybooks, the villain is always defeated. He’s usually brought to shame or to his own demise. I just wish something like that could happen to my father. He’s been selling me for sex for over a year now. He’s raped me since I was five. I’m only eight. Every single night, I dream that they’re touching me, they’re groping me, and they’re raping me again and again and again. I wish I could scream but I know that if I let out a single peep, my father will come in and beat me. It’s a little pointless because if I wet the bed, he’ll beat me anyways. I wet the bed every night.

Children my age go to school. Not me. I’m forced to stay at home, working on making the house gleam from head to toe, from ceiling to floor. If I don’t do it perfectly, I get beat. I’ve heard my ribs crack so many times that I can no longer count the instances on my two hands. He’ll beat me saying “Severus, Severus, you useless piece of shit, aren’t you good for anything?”

I wonder that too.

====

This day starts off like any other. I get beat for peeing in my bed again (I can’t control it, I swear!) and I’m sent off on my own in the house with a list of chores to complete by the time he gets home at nine. Usually, my stomach rumbles in fury, yet I have to tell it that I probably won’t get a chance to eat today. 

While I wash the windows to make them sparkle (which admittedly isn’t too hard, considering that I clean the house every day) my hands crack and start to bleed. It’s not uncommon for this to happen, considering the fact that my father has me cleaning with harsh chemicals every day and I’m never allowed any hand cream. My hands bleed extremely easily, and if anything, it’s a nuisance to deal with. I’ve gotten used to the pain by now. It doesn’t bother me that much and I continue to clean the house. 

I got beat twice today. The first time was for leaving a singular streak in the window, leading to my left arm cracking and a bunch of scars being left on my back from Father’s beloved belt. The second time is for missing a small speck of dirt on the floor. This time, I’m pushed down the stairs and I’m kicked in the stomach which really hurts.

Once the Grandfather clock in the window strikes three, I take that as my cue to stop cleaning and start doing what I want. My father heads out from three until nine o’clock, giving him enough time to get a little tipsy and bring home some clients to fuck me, as he says. During this time, I quit cleaning and do some reading. I’ve stayed in school long enough to learn how to read, and since reading is the only educating thing I’ve been doing, I’ve gotten quite good at it, if I can say so myself. My favourite book is Anne of Green Gables, it’s just a book that I enjoy, no matter my present situation. Today, I read my beat up copy of it. Page fifty-eight is missing, along with page fifty-nine. I’ve always wondered what happens on those two pages. Usually, I hide it in my room while I read it, knowing that most of my father’s clients have sex with me in the spare bedroom. Even the pain in my upper abdomen couldn’t make me enjoy reading any less.

Sometimes I wish that I had a sibling who would adopt me and take me to his farm for me to work. I’d get a bunch of friends and have my own little adventures with them. I guess I can dream. 

Around nine o’clock, my father comes back home with a bunch of cronies that he’s picked up at the bar. For a few seconds, I get the chance to look at who my customers are. Sometimes they’ve had sex with me before, sometimes they haven’t. Tonight, there are three. I count each and every one of them. I recognize two of them and the other one’s likely to become a regular. It was going to be a bad night. I could already tell, mostly because there was more than one person here.

They take their turns raping me and I wait for the clock to chime twelve so I can go to sleep to have the same cycle repeated again tomorrow. I want to cry but I can’t. After the second man is done, I hear a commotion in the living room and it sounds like it’s between my father and a rapist. I’ve never heard this before.

Eventually, the third man comes in and looks at me. I look at him. His brown eyes are warm and comforting and once he places his hand on my back, I know that he’s not here to rape me. “Come on, we’re taking you to a hospital.”

I burst into tears. If I go to the hospital, then they’re going to take me away from my father and force me into a house where the boys have sex with each other, at least that’s what my father told me. He said I was lucky to have him monitor the men that have sex with me. “No hospital,” I cry, covering up my naked body with my scarred hands.

“Look young one. I’m not going to hurt you,” the man reassures, trying to get me to trust him.

I shake my head. “Your father’s out there. I convinced him to let me use his phone and I called the police. They’ll be here any minute and you’ll be taken to the hospital. I’m an undercover cop and I called for backup,” He says, trying a different tactic to comfort me.

I hear sirens outside. Unsure of what to do, but hearing the clock strike nine, I run naked into my bedroom. Impulsively, I grab my copy of Anne of Green Gables and sit on my bed, crying, waiting to be taken to the sex house.

Everything that happens next is blurry. I know at one point cops approach me and start asking me questions about what happened and all I can blurt out are one-word answers in attempts to stop them from prodding too much. They wrap me in a blanket and strap me into a stretcher. I protest this and force them to let me take my book. That book was my protector. 

They give in, taking the book as they carried me and the stretcher to the ambulance. They didn’t do too much in the ambulance on the way there but I know that once I’m in the hospital, they’re going to treat me and then prepare me for the sex house. I cry in the ambulance at the thought of this. The paramedics soothe me, but they don’t know what they’re soothing so they just assume that I’m scared. 

When we arrive at the hospital, I’m taken into a bright room. A smiling blonde nurse with her hair pulled up into a bun introduces herself as Rita and I notice the magnificence of her brilliant blue eyes. She tells me that she’s going to run some tests and I find myself nodding. I can see her wince as she removes the blanket, yet her smile remains, albeit a little dampened. She tells me she’s going to do something called a “rape kit” and she swabs the inside of my butt. It’s not scary, but I find my focus on the drawers in the room. They’re labelled “Small child”, “Teenage girl”, “Teenage boy”, “Adult female,” and “Adult male”. I can’t even imagine what’s in them until the nurse grabs me a pair of underwear from the “small child” drawer, after proceeding to get me a hospital gown. She takes my wrist and places a hospital band on it. 

I put the underwear on and Rita calls a doctor into the room. I whimper as the male doctor enters the room. I was afraid that he would have sex with me. My heart is telling me to beg him not to rape me but my brain is advising me to not suggest that to him. The conflicting ideas lead to me freezing, unable to say anything. My obsidian eyes meet the cool blue ones of the doctor and Rita comforts me, placing her hand on my back. “I suspect a ruptured spleen.” Rita says, “All of the signs point to it. Severus, this is Doctor Sullivan.”

“We’re going to need a surgical consult. Call Richard, he’ll be able to bring us, someone.” Doctor Sullivan says, ignoring me for now. “Can you lay down for me?” 

I do as he says, afraid of what he would do if I didn’t obey his command. He runs a weird device all over my chest, saying that it’s supposed to see if my heart is working okay. He seems to stare at my belly for a long time. After this, he grabs a cuff that’s attached to a pump and attaches it around my upper arm. Doctor Sullivan pushes the pump and the cuff gets extremely tight and then loose once more. He removes the cuff and I look at him, a little confused about what he had just done. “Severus’ blood pressure is extremely low. We need him to have emergency surgery now!”

The nurse nods and puts a rubber tourniquet around my arm and places a needle in my hand. Hooked up to me is a bag of clear fluids. Both Rita and Doctor Sullivan move me into a rolling bed. A third person enters the room and introduces himself as Richard and tells me that I’m going to be put to sleep and have an organ taken out. They wheel me out of that room and through the hallways and take me into something called an elevator. We go up a few floors and I get taken into a room with a bright light over me. “Severus, you’re going to be put to sleep; you know that needle in your arm?” I nod, “Well you’re going to feel something cold in it and then you’re going to feel the need to cough. Then you’ll fall right asleep.”  
I fell asleep.  
====  
I wake up to the sound of beeping. I blink the weariness out of my eyes and I look up. I’m in a room with a lot of bright lights. A nurse looks at me and strokes my hair. At once, I see that it is Nurse Rita. “Can I go home now?” I ask, out of it. They were going to rape me here too. That’s what my father said.

At once, I feel his hands all over me, forcing his penis down my throat. I shake my head from side to side, trying to break free from it. This happened whenever I felt too safe, which, unsurprisingly, was a rare feeling for me. I don’t see that nurse Rita is stroking my hair, trying to bring me out of my flashback. Eventually, the flashback ends and I see Rita’s concerned face. She’s stroking my hair still. “Severus, we’re going to take you to your room now.”

My bed starts moving, it’s being brought to a room where there’s another kid whose around my age. I feel too tired to do anything as I’m transferred into another hospital bed. There’s a blue remote next to me that Rita says is a morphine drip and to press the button if I’m in too much pain. She also says that I’ll be getting an X-ray tomorrow, but it’s too late for me to function now.

I fall asleep.

====

For some reason, I manage to sleep through the entire night with nothing interrupting my sleep. However, I wake up the next morning, realizing that I’ve wet the bed. I choke and I break into sobs, not wanting anyone to see the mess that I’ve made. It was embarrassing. I’m just glad that my roommate is still asleep because if he were awake, he’d be making fun of me. The pain hits me and I barely remember how to push a button but I’m so out of it, I don’t push the right button and I summon a nurse to my embarrassment. 

A nurse with red hair and freckles scattered all over his face enters the room, and oh god, he scared me. He was going to rape me and I couldn’t control it. 

Instead of raping me, he looks at me, trying to figure what’s wrong. “Is everything okay in here?” He asks.

“N-no,” I stutter, completely embarrassed to be lying in a puddle of my own waste, “I’m in a lot of pain.”

The nurse hands me the morphine button and I press it, feeling instant relief shoot through my body. However, the red-headed nurse sees that my blankets are wet. I don’t make eye contact with him as he sees the soaked sheets. “Severus, do you mind if I change your bed sheets?

I know he’s going to beat me. When I peed in my own bed, I was only damaging something that belonged to me, but when I peed in this bed, I’ve damaged someone else's property. “Please don’t beat me!” I cry. 

“You’re not going to get beaten, trust me.” The red haired nurse tries to comfort me.  
Something inside of me tells me not to trust him. Maybe it’s the fact that I was mostly raped by men (and sometimes women, but mostly men) but he scares me and I can’t let him take my clothes off. And this pair of underwear was the only pair that I had and I didn’t want to go without, it’d make it easier for anyone to rape me. It was better to wear soaked underwear than none at all. I couldn’t imagine the hospital so graciously giving me another pair. I broke down into tears, afraid of this man and his plans. I bite my lip, trying not to let the words slip out, “Please d-don’t beat me.”

“Severus, no one at this hospital is going to rape you.” The nurse explains, trying to help me feel safe. I shiver and wrap myself up in the wet blankets, afraid of this man whose name I didn’t even know. At least I didn’t let the word rape slip out. If I let them know that I was raped, my father said that they’d rape me too. “Severus, you need to let me change you or you’re going to get an infection. Heavens- I’m not going to beat you.” 

I shake my head and curl up underneath the blankets even more. “I want Rita!” I say, wanting the female nurse because I trusted her. She had earned my trust and thus was the nurse I wanted to treat me. I didn’t trust this redhead at all.

“Severus, would you feel more comfortable if I had a female nurse do this?” he asks, already knowing the answer before I nod. 

He doesn’t hesitate to page a nurse and before I know it, a nurse with her long black hair pulled up into a ponytail enters the room with a new pair of underwear, a new hospital gown, and what appears to be a mat. The nurse introduces herself as Emily and asks, “Severus, Nathan told me that you wanted a female nurse to assist you, correct?”

I nod, assuming that the name of the red-head was Nathan. “Severus, I’m going to remove your wet clothes and bedding, okay?”

I shake my head, not wanting anyone to touch my clothes. They were my only protection from rapists and people that wanted sex and once they were off, there was nothing protecting me. “No.” I cross my arms and shake my head.

“I can help you get changed in the bathroom if you would like,” Emily says, offering to make a compromise with me. I would be less scared in the bathroom, mostly because I had never been raped in a bathroom. I nod my head and Emily makes a gesture that signals that I shouldn’t move. She leaves the room and I wonder for a second if she’s left me to never come back, but she comes back to the room in just a few seconds with a wheelchair and she helps me into it and brings it into the bathroom, along with my IV. 

Once she brings me into the bathroom, she sets me onto the toilet and takes my underwear off, putting it into a laundry basket that’s presumably for soiled clothing. She does the same with the hospital gown and wipes me down and places me into a new pair of underwear and a new hospital gown. Emily places me into the wheelchair and wheels me into the hallways. “Severus, we’re going to take you for an x-ray now to check for some broken bones.”

I nod as she brings me to the x-ray machine and places me onto it. I stare up at the machine until I’m told not to and the x-ray technician winces as she sees my results. If they led to her wincing, then there was no way that I wanted to see them. I was lifted off the table and then placed into my wheelchair once more to be taken back into my room. “Severus, you have several fractures. I’ll get a doctor to explain it to you. Unfortunately, it might not be a female doctor.”

“Okay.” I say. I’m placed into my hospital bed. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t all sticky and wet, just like I thought it would be. I was only allowed to change my bed sheets once every month. A strange man enters the room and I get extremely scared. He was an older man with finer wrinkles along his face. He reminded me of this one guy that would have brutal sex with me, often ending extremely bloody for me. About six months ago, my kept bringing him home and not anyone else. This lasted for about a month, but I never got used to the pain and the blood. Eventually, my father started bringing home others and stopped bringing home that guy. 

“Hello Severus, my name is Fleamont Potter. I’m going to be your doctor for however long that you’re in here.”

“No!” I cry. I didn’t trust this doctor at all and it showed. 

“We don’t have any female doctors available Severus, I’ve read your chart and I know what has happened to you. I just wanted to discuss your multiple broken bones.”

I tried my best to focus on what he was saying and I could feel myself slowly easing into his presence. He was nothing like the other man and I actually felt...well, safe around him. I didn’t know how to describe it, but I didn’t need to. “So Severus, you have a spiral fracture on your left femur and it’s bad enough that you’ll need to have it fixed with surgery. As well, you have multiple broken ribs. Luckily, they have all healed properly so I won’t need to break them again, but you’re going to need to be careful. You have seven broken fingers and all three bones in your left arm are broken, along with several bones in your hand. You’ll need to have your arm in a cast for a long time.”

I nod, smiling and feeling better knowing that my injuries were going to be treated and I’d no longer have to deal with the pain on a daily basis. “Severus, there’s just one thing I’d like to tell you. You aren’t at a regular hospital. You’re at Merlin’s Magical Children’s Hospital which specializes in treating magical children from all over the world.”

I frowned out of confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“Severus, have you ever done something that you can’t explain? Have you ever found that you can move something using only your mind.”

I nod my head. Once when my father was attacking me, I somehow made him fly off of me and crash into the wall. I didn’t know how I managed to do it, but it did prevent him from bringing anyone home to rape me that night which was a blessing in itself.  
“That’s because you’re magical Severus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thanks for reading this! This is The Consigliere from Fanfiction.net (I wanted a different name) and I thought I should post this story here. Now before you continue reading this story, I just would like to inform you that the time period in this story is not the time period in the books, and rather this story takes place in the twenty-first century.
> 
> The song inspiration for this chapter was 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence


	2. Trouble in Here

“What do you mean that I’m magical?” I asked, confused, “Mama told me that I had special abilities and that father was jealous, but did she mean that I was magical?” I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought of my father and his hands creeping up on me. I look up and I can see his dark eyes devouring me. The hands slowly move towards my waist and I bite my tongue, not wanting the tears to show. Father didn’t want a boy who cried. I can feel the familiar bile rise up in my throat and I have to will myself not to gag and vomit all over him. I fail and I vomit all over my blankets and Fleamont quickly grabs a bucket for me to throw up in. I throw up in the bucket, surprised at the sheer amount of nothing I had in my stomach.

“Severus, are you feeling okay?” Fleamont asks, taking out a stick and pointing it at me. I cowered in fear. He whispers something and the vomit disappears. My mouth hangs open, agape, and I look at him, a little scared. “I’m feeling o-okay.” I say as I feel the pain start to come back. I push the button again.

“Well you’re going to be having surgery today on your leg to insert some pins to help your leg heal.” Fleamont says, putting his wand back into his holster.

“Why can’t you use magic on my leg?” I complained, unable to understand why he wasn’t able to use his magic on my leg. 

“Your injury was caused by a muggle and not a wizard. Magic doesn’t work on muggle illnesses or injuries which means that you have to receive muggle treatment for your injury.”

I frowned. I wanted this damn needle out of my arm and no one would take it out. It bothered me so much. I bit my lip and tried not to cry, hating everything that was going on. “So it that why you couldn’t magic my spleen better?” I ask. I didn’t feel any different without it.

“Correct. Now you have surgery booked in two hours.” Fleamont says. An electronic beeping noise comes from his pocket and he checks on it, pulling out a black object. “They need me in room 204 for a seizure. I’ll be back to check on you before your surgery.”

I wave to him as he leaves. Maybe I can trust him, I thought to myself. He hadn’t tried to do anything to me yet and maybe he never would. 

I looked at the boy who was on the other side of the room; or what I could look at. I remembered there being another boy there, I saw him as I was coming into the room. He was separated from me by a curtain. For the first time in a long while, I remembered what it was like to have a friend. It had been so long, long enough that I couldn’t think of his face or name, no matter how hard I tried. 

The topic of thinking about my long-lost friend kept me distracted for about five minutes, leaving about an hour and fifty-five minutes left before I had to go into surgery. Despite having surgery last night to remove my spleen, I was more nervous for this surgery. I guess there was something that seemed a little weird about having my leg cut open and having metal placed in it. I mean it didn’t even hurt that much, but that could easily be the morphine masking the pain. Oh God, I’m crazy!  
I want my doctor to come back and for him to give me reassuring words. I want Rita to come back into the room and tell me that everything’s going to be okay. A tear slips out of my eye and I begin to cry slowly. I was afraid and didn’t know how to handle my fear. Being held hostage and abused sexually definitely didn’t help me either.

I question the existence of the other boy for around fifteen minutes, coming to the conclusion that the boy exists. My eyes begin to wander around the room out of boredom and I wonder if I would be allowed to get up and grab my book. Having been through a lot with my books, there was definitely a need for literature in my life and today was no different. I guess I should push the button to summon a nurse, I thought to myself.

A second before I can bring myself to push it, a man enters the room. He had a stocky build and a rather scruffy look to him. This scared the lights out of me and I covered myself up with my blanket, hoping he didn’t notice me. Men like this were the ones that raped me. Maybe all the nurses lied and the only reason they wanted to treat me was because they were preparing me for more slavery. Whatever it was, I was scared either way.

The man moves to the other side of the curtain and I look up and exhale a sigh of relief. He wasn’t here to rape me. A raspy voice, much like mine, emerges from the other side of the curtain and I realize that it belongs to a kid just like me. I want to speak out but my voice has been taken from me. I remain like this for around ten minutes, leaving an hour and a half until my surgery. With every minute that came closer to my surgery, I became more and more scared. And I really needed to go to the bathroom. 

I bounced around in my bed. Damn it. I really need to call a nurse but I don’t know if I really should or if I should pass. Wait, I can just get out of bed by myself. The second I realized that I could walk over to the bathroom, I slowly got out of bed. I take a step forward before feeling an excruciating pain in my left leg and I collapse on the ground. As I fall, the stitches from yesterday’s surgery pop open and I scream, in agony. A puddle grows around me as I realize that I’ve failed in my goal of making it to the toilet, but I’m in too much pain to care. 

The man from behind the curtain stares at me and leaves the room, his mouth wide. I can’t help but let a few tears slowly drip from my eyes. Embarrassment catches up to me and I feel my cheeks flush red with mortification. That man literally saw me in a puddle of my own waste. The man and Nurse Emily enter the room and I continue to lay on my stomach. Emily looks at me and her face contorts to an expression of empathy. “Severus, you’ve nearly popped your stitches,” she says, looking at me with concern in her eyes. 

“Oww,” I cry, biting my lip to prevent more tears from spilling out. This was already embarrassing enough and to make matters worse, I had just peed myself. My eyes closed as tight as I could make them, mostly because I wanted to slip away and pretend that I hadn’t just left my bed. “Severus, why did you leave your bed in the first place?” Emily asks, looking at the puddle of urine around me and immediately understanding. She didn’t follow up on her question so I assumed it was my time to answer.

I bit my lip even harder, trying to ignore the feeling of doom that surrounded me. It felt like Tobias was watching me, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He would tackle me to the ground sometimes, beating me until I couldn’t contain the screams in anymore. There was this one time that he had managed to strike me in the bladder and I peed all over the place. He had taken a cane and struck me so hard that bones cracked. This was the only thing that was on my mind as I summoned up the courage to answer, “I had to pee.”

“You could have called one of us. We would have taken you to go.” Emily responded.

“Too late for that,” I said bitterly.  
The man that got the nurse re-entered the room with a look of concern on his face. “You look lonely,” he comments. 

This comment sends chills down my spine, it was something that reminded me of the rapists that raped me. “Mr Lupin, five minutes please,” Emily asks, sending the man away. She helps me off of the floor carefully and takes the soaked gown off of me and sets it aside, grabbing me a new one and dressing me in it. For a few seconds, she stares into space, as if she’s trying to remember what to do next. Her face lights up as she remembers what she has to do- she grabs her wand out of a holster and magics all of the urine away. The entire incident, from me falling on the ground to Emily cleaning everything up takes around ten minutes, leaving an hour and twenty minutes until pins and screws are to be placed in my leg. 

I’m back to laying in my bed when the curtain opens, revealing the person on the other side of the room. He was a boy with several scars on his face and he was about my age. He waves nervously at me and I look at him, afraid to move my left arm. I barely manage to muster up the courage to smile at him and when I smile, it’s barely a smile. It’s more like a snark. 

The boy gets out of his bed and comes over to my side of the room, introducing himself. “Hi, my name’s Remus Lupin.” I look at the boy, wondering if he would even want to be friends with someone as pathetic as I was. 

“You’re so pathetic Severus. You’re the first person that hasn’t enjoyed this.” Tobias yelled, stretching my rectum with his dick. 

“What’s wrong with you Severus. Oh wait, I know, it’s because you’re so pathetic,” Tobias said as he slapped me for wetting the bed.

“I really deserve my money back. This fuck is so pathetic,” the man who was fucking me said.

“You did such a pathetic job cleaning the house Severus. You will do it again while I watch.”

“Severus you’re the reason why your pathetic mother killed herself.”

I wanted to scream as those whispers and memories filled my head. I barely managed to choke out, “My name’s Severus,” without estranging myself. This may be the first friend I may make in forever. I didn’t want to embarrass myself. 

But when I realize that my ears are covered by my hands and there are tears in my eyes, I know that I have failed with only an hour and fifteen minutes left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of two of the next chapter. I was kinda tipsy when I wrote the last part of this (and I still am) and my tipsy self figured that you guys would like another chapter.
> 
> The song inspiration for this chapter is 'Trouble in Here' by Howie Day.


	3. All Kinds of Time

With an hour and fifteen minutes left before pins are to be placed into my leg, I know that I’m screwed. I’ve fucked up my chances at being friends with the boy that I share the room with. He probably thinks I’m crazy for rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears. It’s my only way of blocking out the memories. If I can hum loud enough, I can focus on my humming rather than the sounds of the memories in my mind. 

To my surprise, Remus hasn’t left me on my own, in fact, he is sitting on the chair right next to my bed. I let out a sigh of relief as I realize that maybe he doesn’t think I’m crazy. And even if he did, he was still next to me. I dig my nails into my hand, trying to bring myself back to reality instead of remaining in this state of fear. The pain from my nails and my broken fingers brings me out of my mind and I give a futile smile to Remus, hoping he didn’t think I was crazy from my outburst. 

“Severus, are you okay,” Remus asks, looking at me with genuine concern in his eyes.

I rub my eyes, trying to remove the tears from them. I didn’t want to cry in front of Remus. I knew that he wasn’t my father but despite that, I didn’t want him to tell the other man about my tears because I had a strong suspicion that the other man would rape me. “I’m f-fine,” I stutter, afraid to tell him how I really felt.

“You don’t seem like you’re fine,” He mumbles, gesturing to the tears that were falling down my cheeks. God, why was I such a failure? I couldn’t even control my tears and Remus was proof of that. He had just caught me crying! I wasn’t supposed to cry. 

“I’m fine,” I insist.

====

In the hallway, two staff members were talking amongst themselves. One had hair that was graying and had striking hazel eyes and was about six foot three. He wore circular glasses and was wearing dark blue scrubs pants along with a top that had characters from the Disney movie, Frozen. He deviated from the standard uniform because he had convinced the chief of medicine that it would help Muggleborns feel more comfortable at the hospital. The board of medicine had reluctantly allowed the man to diverge from the standard. The man wore a name tag that said “Fleamont Potter, General Practitioner”.

The other staff member was a small African girl, around five feet tall. Her eyes were a warm chocolate brown and she wore a patterned scrubs top, however, because she was a nurse, she could get away with it. Her name tag said “Emily Abioye, Pediatric Nurse”. She was in her early twenties. 

“Have you seen that poor boy?” Emily asked. She was extremely sensitive to the emotions of other people. “Rita told me that his rape kit came back positive. They tested the DNA and found it to be rather similar to the boy’s DNA. A close relative would have had to have done this to him. 

“Severus, if I’m correct. And Ms. Abioye, they found more than one DNA sample. An eyewitness had said that the boy had been sold for sex. God, some Muggles are so disgusting.” Fleamont said, ignoring the fact that Emily winced as he said those words. 

“You seem to be forgetting that I come from a Muggle family myself and that they’ve loved me more than anything. And we have several Squibs and Muggles that work here.” 

Fleamont took his glasses off and cleaned them feverishly. He liked having clean glasses. As a doctor, he felt that the smallest smudge would obstruct his view. He felt that his glasses allowed him to see every situation clearly and from more than one perspective. Severus’ situation was slightly different. No matter how poor a family was, he couldn’t see any good reason why someone would dare sell their child to strange men for sex. There were so many other ways that people could make money and all of those didn’t involve stripping the innocence of a child away. “I said some Muggles, not all of them.”

“I knew you said that Emily, but when some Muggles are bad, it ruins your perspective of them as a whole.” Fleamont remarked, noting that his perception of Muggles had changed after he had met the boy. 

“But Fleamont, don’t forget about Addison Fawley. Her parents may have been part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, but that didn’t stop them from using the Cruciatus curse on her.” Emily said, thinking about the Fawley kid. She had accidentally shattered a family heirloom and instead of the family using ‘Reparo’ on the shattered sculpture (which was rather easy to do), they instead chose to use the Cruciatus curse on her for extended periods of time. The girl now suffered from organ damage. The curse had caused her heart to swell up and this led to permanent damage. The curse had also caused severe lung, kidney, liver, and intestinal damage, however, these weren’t as bad as the damage to her heart and they could be repaired with potions. Her parents had brought her here because they noticed that the curse had caused her to stop breathing. For some reason, child abusers only noticed what they had done when their child was on death’s door. Luckily, Fleamont and Rita had been able to save the girl who currently resided in Room 205, part of the intensive care unit. The girl was going to finally leave it today. 

“That’s true. Muggles don’t have access to any of the unforgivable curses.” Fleamont muttered to himself sighing.

“It just seems that the number of child abuse cases are going up,” Emily said, a glint of anxiety in her chocolate brown eyes.

“Emily, the only reason that they’re going up is because we’re becoming better and better at detecting them. They make up a small number of the cases here at this hospital and the majority of cases here are still sickness and accident related.” Fleamont reassured.

“I guess you’re right. You go check on Lily Evans, the automobile accident patient, and I’ll go get Severus prepared for his surgery.”

====

“So Severus, why are you here?” Remus asked, unaware of the implications that his question would lead to. I’m thrown back into my memories, back to last night where I was raped and tortured. The face of the man who saved me wouldn’t get out of my head. It wouldn’t get out of my head. The face was burned into my memories and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was overwhelming and overpowering and I didn’t know how to react to it. I couldn’t tell him what had happened to me. I can’t tell the truth.

I remembered Doctor Fleamont’s excuse for leaving the room. “I had a seizure,” I lie. I think I sounded convincing and I’m pretty sure that I sounded convincing, especially because Remus nodded his head and seemed like he was convinced. 

I don’t think Remus was expecting me to reciprocate his question, as he appeared to be shocked as I asked him, “Why are you here?”

He bites his lip as if he’s afraid to disclose the truth to me and looks up to the sky, hoping an answer will rain down upon him. Barely two seconds after I ask him the question, he comes up with the answer, “I had an illness called sepsis from a surgery.”

His answer scares me to the point where I don’t notice the obvious signs that he is lying. The biting of the inside of his cheek and the lack of eye contact goes unnoticed. I didn’t want this ‘so called’ illness and his statement scares me. I start panicking internally, but I manage to keep a straight face, afraid to show how I really felt to this boy that wanted to be my friend.

The African nurse, Emily, re-enters the room and smiles at me, approaching me slowly. Shortly after, the other man enters the room. “Remus, Severus is about to go in for surgery. There’s going to be a showing of a muggle movie down in the common area on the second floor, why don’t you go check it out.”

Remus nods his head. I feel jealous, he was lucky. He was here because he broke his leg, whereas I’m here because my own father damaged me. The boy quickly leaves the room with the man and I can only hope that the man won’t rape Remus. Maybe it was a warped way of thinking but I didn’t want to see the same thing happen to Remus. “Will the man rape Remus?” I ask without realizing that I had actually said my thoughts out loud.

I look at Emily and she’s frowning, her arms crossed. For a second, I fear that she’s mad at me, but that feeling quickly passes as she strokes my hair. I flinch at the touch and try to convince myself that her touch isn’t bad at all and that she was stroking my hair out of kindness. I wasn’t convinced. “Severus, Remus’ father won’t do that to him.”

So that man was Remus’ father? I had suspected it for a few minutes, but hearing Emily say it made it ten times worse. I bit my lip raw and I squinted my eyes shut, trying to build an impenetrable wall against the memories. It doesn’t work at all. I feel his hands on my waist and his hot breath down my neck. I thought these memories wouldn’t be as vivid as soon as I left the situation. Was I ever going to get better?

====

The last thing she remembered before it all went black was the sound of metal scraping against metal and the feeling of her body being thrown from its seat. The sounds of screaming went unnoticed and so did the sound of shouting, explosions, and scraping. The accident had knocked her out.

Here she was, one week and five days later, with endless tubes running in and out of her. The list of injuries had been quite impressive and multiple doctors and nurses were surprised to see that she hadn’t kicked the bucket yet. 

She didn’t know that she was the only member of her family that had been severely injured. Everyone else had been spared in the car wreck-- save for her sister, but Petunia only received a broken arm. 

The doctors put her into a coma in order to save her life, but they didn’t know how much damage it would cause in the long run.

====

Emily rubbed my back, trying to help me through the memory of my father raping me. I couldn’t get over this. I was afraid I would never get over it. I finally snap out of it and stare into her impressive brown eyes and give her a weak smile, “Severus, no father should ever do that to their child.”

I nod, trying to force myself to agree with what she had said. I believed her to some extent, but sometimes I did deserve it. There was that one time I had accidentally set the couch on fire while waxing the hardwood floor. Father had literally screamed at me and he had raped me right then and there on the burnt couch. It was a just punishment, for I deserved it for daring to set a precious piece of furniture on fire. It didn’t matter that it was an accident. I don’t notice that I’m shaking my head.

“Sev,” Emily says, a glint of concern in her eyes, “Your father might have said that he was raping you as a punishment.” I nod and start to blink away tears. Why couldn’t I stop crying? “But Severus, that was just him manipulating you into thinking that sexual abuse was a proper punishment when in reality, it never is. You may have done the worst thing you could ever think of, but that still doesn’t justify what your father did.” 

I look up at Emily once more and glance quickly at my heart rate monitor, which showed that I had an hour and five minutes remaining until my operation. “I’m just going to fiddle around with your IV drip, which includes giving you some antibiotics to ward off future infection and to prevent Sepsis.”

I nod, remembering what Remus said earlier. I want to ask Emily what Sepsis is, but I bite my tongue, unable to summon up the courage to be able to do such a thing. “Now let’s get you into a wheelchair, Severus,” Emily says, assisting me into a wheelchair. “Do you have to use the bathroom at all?” 

I blush, not exactly having to go to the bathroom, but also afraid of wetting myself during the operation. Emily takes this as a sign that I need to go and helps me into the bathroom and onto the toilet.

Once that’s done with, she helps me back into my wheelchair and takes me up to the third floor with the elevator, taking me into an office where the man that did my surgery last night explains the procedure, the risks involved, and what exactly he will be doing. His blue eyes, although the colour of ice, showed compassion and an extreme love for his job. I looked up and realized that I had only five minutes remaining until my surgery. Time had flown by, but Dr. Black had been sure to explain the procedure to the point that I could understand it. At this point, Emily’s pager goes off and she’s about to walk out of the office when I ask her, “Can I have a hug?” 

I smiled when I got the hug that I desired.

====

I’m in a field filled with flowers with blooms of all colours. Reds, oranges, purples, whites, blues, and pinks surround me and make me feel jubilant. I get an extreme urge to dance and so I dance and twirl around, leaping into the air. I barely notice the voices that are calling Lily. It finally occurs to me that these flowers are indeed, lilies. My brain sends me an image of my family, my older sister Petunia, my Mother, Heather, and my Father, Richard. 

This image gets extremely shakey and I’m stuck in my coma. Back in the real world, machines are beeping like crazy as I have another seizure.

====

In the room I was placed in, I was left to wait those five minutes in torture. I didn’t know what to expect but I wasn’t looking forward to it. My hands shake and I have Rita come back in. I smile at the nurse and she says, “Severus, you look so much better today! Your surgery will be very soon, but I just wanted to let you know that after the surgery is over, your leg is going to be in a cast, along with your left arm. I was just wondering what your favourite colour was.” 

“Dark green,” I say, liking how it reminded me of nature and all that had to do with the natural world. I really liked pine trees and maybe I wouldn’t think of my father so much if I actually had a cast with my favourite colour on it. He never let me have nice things. 

Rita wheels me through the hospital and I eventually arrive at an operating room. I begin to panic. I was scared. Extremely scared. My breathing became fast and rapid and Rita immediately knew that I was having a panic attack. She didn’t know why, but she helped me and encouraged me to breathe. I became dizzy and somewhat lightheaded. “Severus, take a deep breath. Breathe in….and out.”

I followed her instructions and everything slowed down. “Sev, everything’s going to be okay. Dr. Black is one of the best surgeons in the world and this will be the last surgery for a while. The breaks in your ribs and arms will also be adjusted to heal properly. After this surgery, you’ll have all kinds of time to get better.” Rita reassured.

I looked at her as the world slowly began to slip away. I had been so focused on what would go wrong that I didn’t focus on the fact that I had been given an IV already. Slowly, things began to slip away and I knew that I would have all kinds of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed this! I forced myself to finish this chapter just so you guys could have some fresh reading material. I hope you liked me branching out to characters other than Severus, mostly because it's important to the story.  
> Kudos to you if you can find the reference to a TV show episode. You will win a cookie!
> 
> The song that inspired this chapter is "All Kinds of Time" by Fountains of Wayne.


	4. All At Once

Everything feels foggy and vague. My eyes flutter open and I’m immediately greeted with the sight of a white ceiling. I recognize this room from when I had my spleen removed. I noted that nothing really had changed from the first time, not even the steady beeping noise. This time, I wasn’t in too much pain at all. Then the coldness of the room hits me and I shiver, trying to warm myself up before I freeze to death. An unfamiliar nurse comes close to me and drapes a warm blanket over me, burying my legs in a pool of warmth. As she leaves me, I look at her, trying to give myself a face to associate this pleasant memory with. I focus on her eyes and notice her grey eyes, the colour of a cloudy sky. Cloudy days are my favourite, I think to myself.

I like cloudy days because they aren’t too hot, nor are they too cold. There are so many types of cloudy days, days where the sky is completely covered in clouds and days where there is only one cloud to be seen. 

The pain hits me a second later. I bite my lip in vain as I realize that my leg is hurting. I don’t mind the pain, but when I try moving them, nothing happens. I can’t move either one. The beeping grows faster and I begin to feel that the room is closing in on me. Without my legs, how could I defend myself? I know that in the past defending myself would have resulted in a worse punishment, but it was a comfort knowing that if things got bad enough, I had the luxury of being able to temporarily stop the pain at the cost of having it come back later. I feel like I can’t breathe. 

Tears well up in my eyes and a few manage to make their way down my cheeks. What if the hospital is trying to fix me up before they sent me to the sex house? What if they are just going to send me back to my father? He is going to kill me for leaving him. I am screwed!

The casts on my legs bother me even more. I begin to feel extremely itchy and I try to get up and scratch my itchy legs but to no avail. I’m being held down by an invisible force. This invisible force morphs into the dry hands of my father and I feel him kissing me, biting me, and hitting me. I try to kick against it but my legs don’t seem to be working. A scream erupts from my throat. He’s raping me and I can’t escape. And it hurts so badly. 

The grey-eyed nurse rushes over to me and grabs my arm that isn’t stuck in a cast. She pats my back and whispers, “Sev, it’s just a memory. Can you tell me your full name?” The nurse asks in a sweet and calming voice. 

I feel the flashback subside somewhat as I force myself to give my name, “Severus Tobias Snape,” I say. I try to repeat my name in my head, hoping that would bring me away from the flashback. Thankfully, I feel the voice of my father grow quieter and quieter. I look at the nurse once more and she gives me a sad smile. “You’re very brave Severus.”

I smile weakly at her before my body decides that it wants me to sleep. I try to push the urge back but I’m unable to control the closing of my eyes and before I know it, I fall into a restless sleep.

I don’t notice the nurse sticking a thermometer into my mouth and frowning at the results. I also don’t notice my stomach incision being swabbed. But even if I wasn’t awake, those things still happened.

====

“When I was redoing Severus’ abdominal stitches, I noticed that the incision site was inflamed, suggesting infection.” Doctor Michael Sullivan said the surgeon who had performed both of Severus’ surgeries noted. 

“I just took his temperature and it was 39 degrees Celsius. He was doing fine before the surgery.” A surgical nurse by the name of Maria noted. 

“This is definitely alarming considering that he just had major surgery and he doesn’t have his spleen to help aid his immune system. We need to get the boy on a heavy dose of antibiotics now otherwise he’ll end up with septic shock. He’s already showing signs of Sepsis and the bacterial culture test results are worrying. I recommend that he gets sent to the Intensive Care Unit.”

“But how’s that going to affect him...and the other patients. Won’t that stress him out?” Maria asked. 

“I don’t care about his emotional health right now. His physical health is what matters and if we don’t focus on that, there’s going to be no emotions for us to focus on.” The surgeon said, sighing, “God damn muggles. Physical injuries are already hard enough to cure on their own, but the power of hatred makes it impossible to treat them with magic.”

Maria looked at him with worry in her eyes. That worry quickly morphed into anger as she remembered Tobias and what he had done to his kid. “I just hope the father spends the rest of his life rotting away in jail.”

“I think we all do Maria.”

The two of them took Severus’ bed out of the recovery room and ran down the halls. Once they reached the ICU, they lifted Severus up and placed him on bed number nine. “Pass me the electrodes.”

Maria didn’t hesitate when she gave him the electrodes and continued to adjust the IV bags. Finally, they were able to call in the ICU nurse, Heather, to monitor Severus.

====

James Potter lay in a bed with his entire body feeling like someone had submerged him in an ice bath. His skin was extremely pale and beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. Euphemia, his mother, had brought him several Pepper-Up potions which had helped initially, but now they weren’t doing anything. His abdomen brought him immense pain and had been for about a week.

He was suffering from the latest outbreak of the Wizarding Flu and had been for about a week now. He wasn’t getting better and the fact that Fleamont was barely home made it even worse. Her husband was an accomplished doctor and was usually able to cure their son in a matter of seconds but now he didn’t have any time to assess what was wrong with James. He just told Euphemia to keep giving him Pepper-Up potions which had since become ineffective. James had barely left his bed in about a week which worried Euphemia immensely. Inactivity was something that was atypical of her son. On a normal day, James would normally be flying around on his broom or playing with his wizard friends. 

What worried Euphemia, even more, was the fact that James complained of constant pain in his abdomen. He had vomited three times in the past hour and his fever had skyrocketed. The normally ravenous boy hadn’t eaten anything in the past two days and couldn’t even keep water down. Fleamont dismissed this as a normal case of the Wizarding Flu but Euphemia knew the Wizarding Flu. It was a lot milder than this. This was something else.

James let out a whimper as his stomach protested against the nothing that he had eaten. It was a double-edged sword. If he ate something, he would vomit it back up, but if he didn’t eat anything, he’d starve. He scanned the room frantically, looking around for the bucket that his mother had placed beside the bed. Bile rose up his throat before he found the bucket and he covered his mouth with his hand. He turned his head so when he spewed, he vomited on the floor instead of on the blankets. It sucked but it was a lot better than last time where he vomited on himself.

By the time he had finished emptying his stomach, James felt extremely dizzy. The whole world spun around him uncontrollably and his abdomen hurt even more. The pain was so bad that he burst into sobs, hoping his mother would come and comfort him.

Hearing her son cry, Euphemia entered the room quickly and assessed her son. Here he was, crying in pain, next to a puddle of vomit. “It’s okay James, we’re going to take you to the hospital.” She reassured, but it didn’t do anything to help the boy.  
Quickly, Euphemia made a portkey that would take both her and her son to the waiting room at Merlin’s Children Hospital. “James you need to grab on to this,” she said, extending it into his hand. The whole world distorted itself and then they had reached their destination.

====

“God, I’m such an idiot,” Fleamont Potter muttered to himself, reflecting on his actions. He had just heard from Emily that his son had just been brought to the hospital and that he was waiting in the Emergency Room for treatment. He should have listened to his wife and checked out Severus. 

Before the birth of James, they had dealt with endless miscarriages and the couple was losing hope that they would ever have a baby. They had tried several methods of conceiving a child, but nothing worked. When James had been born, they were elated because the Potter family finally had an heir! Their bloodline wouldn’t die out.

Now that they had managed to have a child, the Potter family had been considering giving James a sibling and felt that there were many wizarding children that needed good homes. Being a doctor, Fleamont was no stranger to seeing kids who were abused or orphaned and his heart broke for each and every one of them. If he was able to give one of them a good home then it would make a huge difference in the life of the child and his family.

====

Sitting in the emergency room, James felt himself grow nauseous again. The emergency room for Merlin’s Children hospital mostly contained magical kids who had done pretty stupid stuff, such as drink a potion that caused hair to grow on the tongue or stupid stuff like that. Sometimes the kids were sick, but that was pretty mild. If they were actually sick, they would be admitted to the hospital right away.

The chair he was sitting in was quite uncomfortable and James was shivering. This emergency room was quite cold. His mother was sitting right beside him and trying to comfort him. He was in a lot of pain.

James didn’t even know how long he had been in the emergency room for- it felt like an eternity when it was only about three minutes. The bright lights made his head hurt and the pain made it harder for him not to throw up. “Mom I’m going to puke,” he mutters, the words sounding completely muffled and garbled but he hopes he got the point across.

Euphemia got the general gist of what James was trying to communicate but unfortunately, she was too late and James was barfing on the floor. His mother sighed and used her wand to clean it up, used to doing this. Her son had been vomiting everywhere except where he was supposed to be lately and although it wasn’t his fault, it still kind of annoyed her. She couldn’t help but feel bad for her son.

Finally, a nurse called out James’ name and Euphemia practically carried her son up to the admitting nurse. “Hello, I am Doctor Perry Kelso. I think we need to take your son to the operating room. His appendix has most likely burst and if we don’t remove it, he’s going to die.” A doctor said, having run to the emergency room to try and save this child’s life. The nurse had cast a spell to diagnose what was wrong with James and had just given the results to him. He immediately knew what he needed to do with the child.

“B-but don’t you need the appendix to live?” Euphemia asked, worriedly.

“Actually, you can live without it. The appendix mostly serves as a host for good bacteria but it doesn’t have any other function. But if James doesn’t get it removed, he will suffer a painful death. Judging by his vitals, he’s bound to go into Septicemia.”

“I’ll do anything to save his life,” Euphemia says.

Doctor Kelso places James into a wheelchair and he wheels him to a stretcher where he helps James into it and has him lay down. He places an IV into James’ hand and starts giving him some heavy dose antibiotics. Euphemia sits in the corner, trying not to cry, feeling terrible about having subjected her son to this fate. If only she had brought him into the hospital sooner. 

The surgeon enters the curtained room and introduces himself. “Hi, I’m Doctor Michael Sullivan and I will be performing this procedure on your son. I just need you to sign this form that explains all of the risks of this procedure. I’m assuming that you consent to this operation, correct?”

His question was answered with Euphemia nodding.

“He’s going to need his appendix removed. It’s a pretty standard procedure, however, James’ had progressed to the point where his may have ruptured and he’s already Septic. Without this surgery, he is going to die.” 

James looked rather faint at that statement. “But don’t worry James, this operation is fairly simple and can be done in under an hour.”

James nods again and Doctor Sullivan places the boy in a wheelchair where he wheels him to the operating room. Maria, the surgical nurse on duty followed him and assisted him with the IV pole and brought it into the operating room. “James, just count down from ten, okay?” Maria says.

He doesn’t make it past 8.

====

Heather, the Intensive Care Nurse, took a good look at her newest addition. Normally, nurses were in charge of caring for four or five patients, but in the ICU, they only had one or two. Before Severus had been admitted into the ICU, she was in charge of a young girl by the name of Lily Evans who had been involved in a muggle automobile collision. 

Severus Snape was a victim of extreme child abuse. He was one of the worst cases that the hospital had ever seen. The boy was damaged both physically and emotionally. He was 48 inches tall which was close to the average for an eight-year-old, but he only weighed 31 pounds. These measurements were mostly estimates because the boy was too injured for them to give proper measurements. They got these loose measurements to figure out the right amount of anesthesia.

The boy was incredibly malnourished and they had considered placing a feeding tube. Heather would prefer to be able to spell potions into the Stomach of the boy but some of them had pretty bad side effects. The nutrition potion, save, for example, could cause his blood pressure to skyrocket. That could be fatal combined with his Sepsis. 

Heather checked the chart of the boy one more time, making sure that there was no mistakes done with his vitals. Feeding tube recommended, was written in bold print. 

She called the ICU doctor, Doctor Amelia Chapman over to verify this. “Amelia, should we place a feeding tube? The chart says it’s the best option and I feel with him being severely underweight, this will be the best option. However, we could be introducing infection to the area and he’s just had his spleen removed.”

Heather handed the chart over to Amelia who nodded, “I suggest that we wait for a few days. In the meantime, we’ll serve him food. I’ll get the cafeteria to send over some easily digestible food.” Amelia noted. “I think we should be giving him six small meals a day on a regular schedule, so that will be at 8 AM, 10:30 AM, 12PM, 2:30PM, 4PM, and 6:30. It will keep his blood sugar up and that will help him fight infection.”

“It’s about four now. Should I wake him up?” Heather asks, looking up at Amelia for approval.

“That’s the best thing to do right now. He needs to bring his weight up.”

The nurse walked over to bed nine and knelt down so her face would be at the same level that Severus’ was. “Sev, it’s time to wake up.” Heather said in a comforting and quiet voice.

Severus quickly woke up but his heart rate and breathing rate quickly skyrocketed. “Am I in trouble?” Severus asked, afraid of what was to come. 

“No Sev, you’re not in any trouble. We just wanted to get you up so you could eat something.” The explanation didn’t do anything- Severus was still rather afraid and his heart rate reflected his fear. 

“I’m not hungry,” Severus lied, not wanting the nurses to waste food on him. They were unfamiliar and most unfamiliar people ended up raping him. The possibility of this happening scared Sev and he didn’t want to get raped again. 

“Severus, you must be hungry. You haven’t eaten once in the time that you’ve been here,” Heather explained, having read that off of his chart.

“Don’t need food. I don’t deserve it.” Severus says, having been told that time after time. 

While this argument was going on, Amelia had phoned the kitchen using the ICU phone (the hospital was equipped with technology that would allow both wizards and muggles to use the phones to talk to other rooms. She let the kitchen know about her request and knew that the house elves and the chefs would have it done rather quickly.

“Why don’t you deserve food?” Heather asks the boy, still kneeling down so that her face was at Sev’s level. 

Severus swallowed and looked into Heather’s hazel eyes. “Father said that I only get food if I clean the house.” He hadn’t done any cleaning here so he clearly didn’t deserve to eat anything.  
“Well you deserve food here,” Heather reassured. She was going to pat his shoulder in an act of reassurance, but he flinched so violently that it concerned her.

The food arrived and Heather sighed in relief. She grabbed a spoon and gave the tray to Severus who just stared at it with an awkward look on his face. “Is this for me?” He asked.

“Yes Severus, this is for you. I have some chicken broth and some applesauce here for you to eat.” Heather says, opening the containers for him. The boy slowly ate the food and looked at Heather, expecting a punishment. When no blow came his way, he was surprised. 

Eventually, he finished eating and Heather encouraged, “Severus, I’m so proud of you. You finished all of your food!” She did this out of hope that it would make the boy feel good for eating. Heaven knew he needed the praise. Without it, he would probably never willingly eat on his own. Heather noticed that his heart rate had gone down quite a bit so this had also been beneficial for the boy. She couldn’t help but smile at the boy and he gave her a small smile. This gave her a little bit of hope that Sev would be able to be happy. He definitely deserved it.

Amelia walked over to Heather and tapped her on the shoulder. This broke the Nurse out of her pondering.“We’re receiving another septic patient and this one’s the son of Fleamont. Prepare to have your hands full.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's another chapter and it's the first chapter of 2019, yay! I just want to clear some things up with you all. I am not a doctor, nor do I live in England, so I can't say everything is accurate. Another thing I wanted to bring notice to was the power of hate. In my story, hate acts as its own type of magic and can counteract even the strongest of spells. Tobias felt extreme hate for Severus and that's one of the reasons why Severus wasn't able to be healed by magic. I could choose to make magic heal everything, but that would ruin the entire point of my story and it seems a little unrealistic to have magic fix everything in one go. Muggle medicine has become more and more advanced and so why not use it? And so, I think that magic can be used to help to some extent (and it can cure magical injuries), however, when it comes to physical injuries, more must come into play.
> 
> The title of this chapter comes from the song "All At Once," by The Fray.
> 
> EDIT 1/6/19- I changed the time from noon to four o'clock to make the story make more sense.


	5. Better Days

James has no idea where he is. The boy is laying down on a stretcher, IV in his arm, and multiple electrodes attached to his chest. The electrodes twisted and lead to a screen which displayed an abundance of uncertain numbers and lines. He is surrounded by curtains on three sides and a wall on the fourth. Where am I, he thought.  
===

Another boy was brought into the ICU and I didn’t know who it is. He is covered in a pale hospital gown and has a pale face, not unlike my own. His hair is short and frizzy while his body isn’t covered in an abundance of casts. About two minutes later, Fleamont arrives into the room and smiles quickly at me before going into the room with the boy. Why couldn’t he visit me instead? 

Admittedly, I am jealous of the new boy. He gets all of the attention of Fleamont and here I am, laying in my bed, too afraid to admit that I am actually in an extreme amount of pain. Sure I could easily press the button to make it go away but I am supposed to feel this pain! Every time my father beat me, he told me that I deserved it for being a bad child. Sometimes I would do nothing wrong and he would still beat me. I thought getting a beating was bad until I was raped the first time. I hadn’t done anything wrong!

_I woke up one morning, drenched in sweat and piss. (Back then, I only occasionally wet the bed, whereas now it seems like it happens every night.) I had another nightmare of my mother hanging from the ceiling with the familiar blank look in her eyes. I knew something was wrong when I heard Father yelling for me to get my ‘lazy ass’ out of bed. He was probably going to yell at me_

__

__

That tone of voice usually meant that I was in trouble and that if I didn’t do what Father wanted, I would regret the consequences. I didn’t know why I would be in trouble. I obeyed and got out of bed, ignoring my wet sweatpants as I ran down to the kitchen. I look up at him, intimidated and his cold, evil, dark black eyes stare back at me. A chill runs through me.

“Severus! Ye filthy boy!” He yelled, aiming a hand to my head. Caught off guard, it hits me and I collapse on the ground, “Ye wet yer bed again. I ‘ave told ye to stop it!”

I look up at Father fearfully, as he continues his rant at me. “I don’ care what yer mother said about ‘not being punished fer things ye can’t control’ but now that she’s gone, I punish ye as I see fit.”

Father’s eyes became darker and colder as he grinned evilly. I lay there on the ground, stunned. Back when mother was around, whenever I wet the bed, I was told that it wasn’t my fault and that I couldn’t control it. Clearly, Father had a differing opinion on the matter. He picked me up and dragged me to his bedroom, the place where I had found Mum hanging with a rope around her neck. The memory comes back and I force the tears to not fall out of my eyes. 

Father forces me onto the bed and removes his pants. I’m left to wonder what he’s doing for a minute until he forces my pants off. I try to scream but he covers up my mouth. He forces something into me and it’s the worst pain I have ever felt in my short life.

The memory flashes through me and I blink the tears out of my eyes. I become increasingly aware of pain spreading throughout my body. God, my chest, abdomen, and limbs hurt so badly. The pain progressively gets worse and worse until I’m left writhing in my bed. Heather quickly notices this and runs towards me. “Sev, do you need more painkillers?” She asks, handing me the button that I use to control my pain.

Gritting my teeth, I shake my head. I was being punished for eating. “Severus, don’t lie to me. You need to make sure that you manage your pain properly. I’m not allowed to press the button for you but please, press it for yourself.”

“Can’t.” I reply, “In trouble.”

“You’re not in trouble Severus.”

“I am! I wet the bed this morning and I had food without cleaning.” I whined, in pain still, “And that’s why I need to be in pain.”

“Sev, you can’t control your bedwetting at all. If you could, would you wet the bed at all?”

I shake my head. “Then it’s not your fault.” Heather places my finger on the button. “Sev, it hurts me to see you in so much pain. Please, just push the button.”

Looking at the button, I consider my choices. I could admit defeat and press the button or I could remain in pain for a few minutes more. Weighing my options, I choose to admit defeat and press the button. Relief washes through me, but so does fear, and I begin to panic at the prospect of getting in trouble for easing my pain. I see relief flicker in her hazel eyes and my fear of her hurting me washes away for now.

Unbelievably, there was a time where my father didn’t hurt me. The first three years of my life were bliss. When my mother killed herself, he began to do strange things to me. But before that, things were undeniably perfect.

_I smiled as my father read me a wonderful bedtime story, something that was called a comic strip. It was about a little boy and his pet tiger who got into all sorts of mischief. Every comic elicited a smile or a giggle, out of me._

Just thinking about the happier time brings a tear to my eye. Why did my father change so much in a short period of change. What had made him change?

Before I knew it, tears were steadily dripping down my cheeks.

====  
_“Lily, I have to tell you something. You have a choice to make. You see Lily, your mother, father, and Petunia all love you very much and they want you to do your best. However, if you wake up now, you will have to face a hard recovery and deal with a lot of pain. If you choose to come with me, you’ll never get to see them again, but you’ll get to experience no pain.”_

_“G-grandpa Evans?” I asked, “I get to be with you? You don’t have cancer anymore?”  
“I don’t have cancer anymore and I’m happy with where I am at now. You can choose to go with me or go see your parents again.”_

_“I don’t know what to choose Grandpa.”_

_“I know you don’t Lily, but your time is running out and your decision will be made for you. You have been granted two weeks to make this choice and that time is almost up.”_

_“If I choose to see Tuney, Mum, and Dad again, I’ll get to see you, right?”_

_“Of course Lily.”_

_“Then I choose to go back. I love you Grandpa!”_

_The first sight that greets me when I open my eyes is the ceiling of the hospital. It’s not dramatic or anything, but it wasn’t what I expected either. There’s a few moments of relative calm before everything sinks in. I’m awake…_

====

“Sev, can you hear me,” Heather asked.

I am trying my hardest to not fall asleep. As soon as I pressed the button, I became extremely tired and almost fell asleep on the spot. “Tired,” I mutter. Tears were still falling down my cheeks and I was still upset.

“Go to sleep Sev, it’ll make you feel better.”

Before I closed my eyes, I noticed Fleamont leaving James’ room and entering the room of a red-haired girl. I fall asleep with tears in my eyes,

====

Everything around here is changing so fast. Just mere minutes ago, I saw the familiar face of my grandfather, and now, I’m seeing the face of a kind-faced older man that somewhat reminded me of him. My eyes darted around the room and took in the sight of the tubes, monitors, and needles in my body. There’s a needle in the crook of my elbow. I tried to tug at it, but my arms don’t move. I can’t move anything, save for my eyes. There are tubes in each of my nostrils that connected and made a path to something behind the bed. 

The man notices my eyes darting around the room. “Can you remember what your name is?” he asks. 

That was quite an easy question. My name is Lily Evans, I think to myself. “Lily Evans.” The raspy sound of my voice surprised me. There is a flicker of hope in the man’s eyes. He quickly scribbles something down.

Then everything comes back to me. The sound of screeching metal, screams, and explosions. The feeling of extreme heat, unbearable pain, and undeniable doom. A beeping I didn’t notice before suddenly becomes quicker and I look up to see a monitor with bright lights, displaying numbers that have no meaning to me. The man adjusts a bag of clear fluids. “I’m just going to check your feeding tube. I’ve given you a calming potion to help you calm down.”

What is a feeding tube? I think to myself, confused as to why I have one. I scan the room, looking for answers, but I find none. The doctor lifts up my hospital gown and writes something down in my chart. What is a potion? Aren’t potions supposed to be magical? Did I hear him correctly? Then he leaves the room. I am more confused than when was when I woke up. 

====  
Remus Lupin glanced at the new arrival into his room, a flighty girl by the name of Addison Fawley. The slim girl had dark circles under her eyes and her blonde hair was matted. She had been moved to this room earlier that day and Remus couldn’t help but wonder what happened to her. She was in worse shape than he had been when he had arrived at the hospital. His stay at the hospital was purely experimental; they were trying to find the best way to treat his Lycanthropy. So far, nothing had worked. One benefit they had found was that chaining Remus up had prevented him from clawing his own face off. Despite the effectiveness of the solution, his doctors debated the ethics of chaining up a young boy.

His time spent in the hospital so far added up to about two months. For the first month, he was allowed to go home for a day at a time as they hadn’t started experimenting with potions through an IV. Throughout his stay, he encountered a wide variety of people, from babies who needed a potion to correct a defect in their body to a dark-haired boy named Severus that he tried to become friends with. That hadn’t gone too well.

More than anything, this girl reminded him of Severus. Being a werewolf meant that Remus could detect scents that no one else could, which was something that made being a werewolf slightly more tolerable. This girl and Severus both smelled like fear. 

Severus had been so nervous that he had peed on the floor. Remus couldn’t fathom the embarrassment that the young boy felt, but if the same thing had happened to Remus, he would have been so ashamed that he would have left the room. However, Severus might have done the same thing, but he had mentioned that he was getting leg surgery.

“Father, please, d-don’t Crucio me again,” Addison whimpered, her cries seemingly going out to her father. She had been moved from the ICU (room 204) despite having a seizure earlier that day (the cause was determined to be from not taking her medication so that quickly subsided). Now she just stayed in the hospital while recovering from her internal wounds.

Remus stared at her, alarmed, and pressed his button to summon a nurse.

====

_Two hours later_

“Fleamont, you absolute idiot! Why did you ignore the illness of our son? He’s in the hospital because of you!” Euphemia yelled at her husband. She normally didn’t yell at him, but this time, their son, whom they had such a hard time conceiving, lay critically ill in a hospital bed. The two of them were in an empty hospital room that Fleamont had locked behind them to prevent anyone from barging in and invading their privacy. They needed to have this conversation now!

Fleamont sighed. Guilt had been eating away at him all day and he already felt bad enough. Having his wife rub it in made it worse. “I’m sorry!”

“To matters worse, you didn’t bother to cast a diagnosing spell on him! It would have taken you half a minute!”

“I’m sorry! I thought it was Wizard’s flu! I didn’t realize you were serious when you said he was getting worse! I thought you just needed a break! I have to deal with two severe child abuse cases right now! I don’t have the time for James and I’m regretfully sorry about that.”

“What about our plans? Our plans for adopting another child?” Euphemia asked, her voice going up an octave. They had been planning to adopt a child for quite a while now and this seemed to throw a fork in their plans.

“Well, those are off for now! I have to deal with my patients damn it!”

“If you hadn’t spent so much time caring about your patients in the first place, we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place.” Euphemia yelled, immediately biting her tongue. That wasn’t what she wanted to say.

Fleamonnt could see the regret in his wife’s eyes and knew she regretted what she said. He chose his words carefully. He gestured for his wife to sit in the chair. She obliged and could see the seriousness in his eyes. “The patients I’m dealing with have been through unspeakable abuse. Not once in their lives have they known a day without pain. As a doctor, it is my job to make sure that they can live to see better days.”

====

**I apologize for the long time that it took me to update. January is a busy month for me and I have to usually deal with finals. I was also hit by writer's block so I had no idea what to do for most of this. I wanted to write more but I felt this was the perfect place to end the chapter.**

**The song inspiration comes from "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls.**


	6. My Heart is Broken

“As a doctor, it is my job to make sure that they can live to see better days.”

Those words rang in Euphemia’s head over and over again. She knew she was wrong for fighting with her husband about this, but James had almost died. “Very well Fleamont. I’m still mad at you, but I’m just glad our son isn’t dead.”

====

Heather glances at her watch, checking the time. It was almost six-thirty, the time her shift ended. Rita was coming to take her position. “Is Rita here yet?” she asks Amelia.

“Right behind you,” Rita says, smiling at the younger nurse. “How’s Severus doing?” 

“Not too good. He’s close to septic shock but he has been improving. I took his temperature and it is slowly going down.” Heather said, passing Severus’ chart on to the slightly older nurse. She exited the room and went to clock out.

“I see it’s about time to feed the boy. I’ll go wake him up, Amelia.” Rita said, glancing at her chart. She saw a quick note about Severus’ bedwetting and suspected PTSD. No one could go through what Severus went through and still be fine afterwards, Rita thought to herself. Assuming that the child had wet his bed in his sleep, she grabbed a towel, a new robe, new blankets, and new sheets. 

While Rita was grabbing the extra supplies, Amelia called the cafeteria and asked them for some food for Severus. The food was sent up to the room via magic and she handed that to Rita as well.

Once Rita had all of the things she needed, she silently approached Severus and slowly woke him up. “Hey Severus, it’s time for you to get up,” she said.

The boy was clearly startled and the tears in his eyes showed that but he quickly settled down and relaxed. “C-can I go to the bathroom?” Severus asked.

Rita noticed the discomfort of her patient and pulled out her wand, using a spell to remove the urine from Severus’ bladder. The boy looked shocked and started shivering. “Are you cold Sev?” Rita asked.

The boy nodded. Rita grabbed him a blanket from the blanket warmer and placed on top of him. She also adjusted his bed to a sitting position and has his tray of food ready. For this meal, he had a smoothie, some milk, and vegetable soup. She slowly fed the boy and once he was done, she commented, “Severus, you’re doing so much better today. It’s hard to believe you were admitted just yesterday.”

Severus looked shocked at this statement. It was pretty obvious that the kid hadn’t received this type of praise in awhile. “Are you in any pain?” Rita asked while checking the monitor to ensure that Severus’ vitals were normal. She sighed in relief when she noticed that his internal body temperature had decreased.

“Y-yeah,” he replied and Rita passed him the button which he proceeded to press. Rita reached into her pocket and grabbed out a chocolate that she unwrapped and passed it to the boy. “I have a special treat for you,” she said.

When Rita passed it to him, Severus looked at her with extremely wide eyes. “Go on, you can eat it.”  
He slipped it into his mouth and smiled at the taste. This had to be the best thing he had tasted in ages. “Thank you,” he said. Once he had swallowed it, he yawned. He rubbed his eyes, starting to get sleepy once more.

“You’re doing such a good job Severus, if you keep getting better, you will be out of the intensive care unit soon!” Rita praised, noticing that the boy seemed a little tired. “Now you need to get some rest,” she said.

Severus closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to dreamland. Rita took some notes down and went to check on another patient.

===  
“Mom,” Petunia whined, tugging at her mother’s shirt with her good arm, “When are we going to go home.”

“Petunia, we’ll be going home in an hour. But before then, try to behave yourself. You are ten years old after all.” Rose Evans, her mother replied.

At this time, both Robert and Rose Evans knew that both of their daughters possessed magical capabilities. Initially, Lily and Petunia were being treated at London’s Children’s Hospital but a man had informed them that both of their daughters were magical and they would be treated at a different hospital.

This information had both of the adults confused. They believed in magic when they were children- just like every child, but when someone told them that their daughters were magical, it was hard to believe that the person wasn’t crazy. But Doctor Michael Williams knew better. A wizard himself, it was his job to look up the names of the kids brought there on the school registries and see if they possessed magic. If so, it was his job to take them immediately to Merlin’s Children’s Hospital.

For Petunia, it was too late for her to get treatment. She hadn’t been injured too badly, some bruises and a fractured radius. By the time Doctor Williams had looked up the names of both of the girls, Petunia had been x-rayed and had a cast placed on her wrist. 

Lily on the other hand, was a foot away from death. Her seatbelt had malfunctioned and she had been flung out of the car. This resulted in numerous broken bones, a skull fracture, brain swelling, a punctured lung, kidney damage, and not to mention a spinal cord injury. It seemed unlikely that she would ever walk again. Thankfully, the magical hospital had the ability to provide advanced care for most of these injuries. She slipped into a coma and both the doctors and nurses felt it was unlikely that she would wake up.

Neither Rose nor Robert had been injured, making this case seem rather unique. The three of them had been to the hospital (they had been given a portkey to grant them access to the hospital since they were muggles) every day since, praying for a miracle. They were steadily losing hope that their daughter would get better. Petunia particularly was anxious and started to hate the hospital because she hated seeing her sister so close to death plus the feelings of powerlessness that accompanied it.

“Mr and Mrs Evans, I have something to tell you.” Doctor Fleamont said, approaching the three of them. They were all waiting for the ICU’s visiting hours which were rather strange, going from 10 to 12, then 2:30 to 4:30, and then 7 to 9. “Is Lily okay?” Rose asked, worried about her daughter and hoping that she hadn’t just died.

“Your daughter has just woken up from her coma. She’s very disoriented, but in five minutes, I’ll let you visit her.” His pager went off and he smiled at them, “Anyways, I’m needed elsewhere but I hope your visit goes well.”

Petunia seemed to be deep in thought and looked at her mother with a serious expression on her face, “What would have happened if you guys would have died?” she asked.

Robert, the less emotionally driven and more logically driven parent replied, “You would have become a foster child and taken in by a different family who would treat you like their child.” His daughter shot him a perplexed look and seemed confused.

“Why aren’t we a foster family?” Petunia asked, “We have a lot of money.”

“There are bills to pay and it’s not like adopting a dog. You have to go through a lot of paperwork and that takes a lot of time.” 

Petunia was satisfied with the explanation and looked at her watch. It said that the time was seven o’clock. “Mom, it’s seven.”

The three of them entered the intensive care unit and headed towards Lily. She was awake, her green eyes staring at the ceiling. “Lily!” Petunia said, looking at her sister. 

“Petunia?” Lily rasped, confused as to why her sister was visiting her. Her parents slowly approached her and Lily smiled slightly. Doctor Amelia Chapman, the ICU Doctor watched the three of them closely, mostly to make sure there wasn’t a rapid change in Lily’s vitals.

“How do you feel?” Robert asked, sitting on a chair next to his daughter. He took her hand, the one that didn’t have the IV in it, and held it. The coolness of her hand surprised him.

Lily groaned and said, “Like a train hit me.” She missed the freedom and rest that her coma gave her. Now that she was conscious, nothing made sense to her. 

The conversation lasted for a few more minutes until Lily fell asleep once more. Then the Evans family went back to their house and had a few things to consider.

====

He wakes up, the thought of his son fresh in his mind, plus the thought of that boy. Yet every time it happens, it feels like it’s happening to both of them. He’s powerless and unable to stop it. Ben Friesen gets out of bed, leaving his heavily pregnant wife, Irena, covered up in bed.

He wants to check up on his son, to make sure that he’s still there, that he isn’t naked and covered with the fluids of other men like that kid was. Ben knows that he’s not the type of father that would allow anyone to do that to his son, but he fears it happening anyways. It’s only been a day, he thinks to himself, Why does it feel like a lifetime ago? 

If someone had done that to his son, he would have killed them. Despite their son John being only four, he was the best part of him and Irena’s lives, save for each other. Nothing would be able to hurt his wife more than seeing her son in such a vulnerable position.

_It all started when he had heard this drunkard ramble on and on at the bar about what a good fuck his son was. This in itself seemed quite suspicious. He brought this up to his chief who suggested that he investigate. On that night, the man was as obnoxious as ever, but when Ben studied him even closer, he found that the man was offering his young son up to people. It took everything in Ben’s power for him not to arrest the man right there, but that wouldn’t allow him to get the child protected._

_When Ben signed up to do this, he didn’t know what he was getting into. He hoped with all of his heart that the man was joking, but when he entered the house with two other men and he heard the men moaning, he knew that it was more than just a joke. “I need to call my wife and let her know that I’ll be late. I forgot my cell phone. Could I borrow yours?”_

_The man grunts and hands Ben the phone. He quickly dials 9-9-9 and speaks to the operator. “This is Officer Friesen. I need a police car and an ambulance at number three Spinners End.”_

_The man tackles Ben to the ground and punches him in the face, missing wildly. It was obvious that he was drunk. Ben retaliates by forcing the man’s hands behind his back and handcuffing._

_He didn’t hear the instructions as the man yelled, “Get me the fuck out of these cuffs now!” mostly because the man was laying on the floor and too drunk to get up without the use of both of his hands. Taking advantage of the man’s incapacitation, Ben runs to the bedroom with the kid in it. What he sees next startles him- an extremely underweight kid with greasy black hair. His black eyes are filled with fear and I blurt out, “Come on, we’re taking you to a hospital.”_

_The boy attempts to give himself some dignity by covering himself up with his scarred hands. I bite my lip, trying not to notice the fear and how afraid the boy is. “No hospital,” he cries. My heart breaks for the child and I want to hold him. I think of my own son and how much this boy reminds me of him._

_“Look young one, I’m not going to hurt you,” I say, trying to reassure the boy. He shakes his head and I continue, “Your father’s out there. I convinced him to let me use his phone and I called the police. They’ll be here any minute and you’ll be taken to the hospital. I’m an undercover cop and I called for backup.”_

Ben hears the sirens outside and leaves the boy, knowing that he’ll have to explain the situation. The drunk man is still struggling to get up. Ben lets out a single tear, for the boy whose innocence was lost.

Ben sheds a tear. He never thought that being a police officer would be as hard is it was, but surprise, it was harder than he thought. He grabs himself a Dreamless Sleep from the kitchen and drowns it in one gulp. Ben falls asleep in an instant, next to his wife.

====  
_He’s in his hospital bed, sleeping when he feels breathing on his neck. Startled, he opens his eyes and finds his father, next to him. The man was awake and lustfully staring at him. “Rita let me into the hospital.”_

_“F-father,” Severus weakly whispers. He notices his father undoing his belt and he whimpers, knowing what’s about to come, “Please….no…..”_

_“Why not?” Rita says, entering the room and kissing Tobias on the cheek. “I think you deserve it for wetting the bed the first night. Only babies do that. You’re such a baby Severus.” She points at him and cackles. No one else seems to be around.  
“Shall I do it?” Tobias asks, targeting the question towards Rita. She wasn’t wearing a pair of scrubs as she normally would, instead opting for a skimpy floral dress. The tall woman nods, “I would recommend it.”_

_Severus feels the familiar pain in his backside as his father plunges into him. He screams, trying to get the pain in his backside to go away, but it just keeps getting worse._

“Severus, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.” The shaking of Rita woke Severus up and he screamed, unable to trust the woman. He squirms in silence, trying to get as far away from the nurse as possible. After all, she was the one responsible for letting his father in. Being covered in casts made it a lot harder for him to try and escape. Rita puts her hand on his head and tries to comfort him to no avail. It doesn’t work. “Get away stupid bitch,” he yells, hearing his father call his mother that once. Rita’s eyes widen but she doesn’t leave him alone as he squirms.

And then he feels the dampness under the covers. His cheeks flush bright red in embarrassment. He truly was a baby! Rita was going to call him a baby and make fun of him for his accident. Then she was going to get his father. Tobias was going to get so angry at him for choosing to pee in the bed of a stranger. His breathing quickens; Rita wasn’t going to leave him anytime soon and he had peed in the bed. She was going to find out and then insult him!

It suddenly becomes harder to breathe, like someone’s lying on his chest. He looks and sees nobody on his chest but it doesn’t matter. He coughs, trying to get more oxygen into his airways, but this doesn’t work. Rita is alarmed now and a new doctor, a young man with blonde hair and icy blue eyes grabs a mask and slips it onto his face. 

Severus starts breathing normally once again and bursts into tears. “Thank you, Doctor Young,” she says, presumably to the other man. “Severus, you just had an asthma attack. Has that ever happened to you before?”

He nods his head. It had only happened when he was extremely afraid or when it was particularly dusty and he would usually pass out. Back when his mother was alive, she had this thing called an ‘inhaler’ for him but he had no idea where it went when she died. It always prevented him from passing out though. Until now, Severus had pushed those memories to the back of his mind, rarely ever thinking of them. Now his mother was at the front of his mind and he couldn’t stop thinking of her dead body. “Use this when you need it,” Rita says, placing it on his nightstand. “For now, the nurses will help you use it.”

Severus coughed weakly and squirms in his bed, trying to find a dry spot. He didn’t want to admit his accident to Rita, out of fear that she would bring in Tobias and laugh at him. The eight year old was already embarrassed enough and didn’t need it to be rubbed in his face. “Sev,” Rita kneels down to be at eye level with the boy, “Did you wet the bed?” 

She wasn’t able to tell if the bed was wet because of the blankets. However, his squirming made the state of his bed rather obvious. Rita thought the boy would be relieved that she asked and that he didn’t have to tell her, but the monitor beside his bed showed his heart rate skyrocketing. The boy burst into tears again and pleads, “P-please d-don’t punish me! I d-didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t mean to. You must have had a scary dream.” Rita reassured. “I’m going to grab some supplies.” She grabs a new bed sheet and new blankets and uses her wand to exchange the two of them. She puts the damp bedding in a washing basket with her wand. Then she changes Severus out of his damp hospital gown and uses a cleaning charm on him. “S-sorry f-for being a burden,” Severus apologizes.

“You’re not a burden. If it weren’t for you, my shift would be all boring,” Rita says, summoning a chocolate from the kitchen. “If you were a burden, I wouldn’t give you special presents.” 

She unwraps the chocolate and hands it to Severus who slips it into his mouth quickly. “Thank you.”

“Can you tell me what your nightmare was about?” 

Severus blinks away tears as he thinks about his nightmare and quickly realizes that Rita wouldn’t like hearing about it. “I d-don’t want you to be m-mad at me.”

Rita grabs Severus’ hand as a gesture to reassure him, “Nothing you say will make me mad at you.”

“You let f-father into the h-hospital and h-he was in m-my bed and you s-said h-he could do the thing to me b-because I wet the bed the f-first night. He r-raped m-me and it w-was all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault Severus.” Rita him. The boy shivers, afraid that she would be mad at him. “I’m very proud of you for telling me about your nightmare.”

Sev smiles. Proud wasn’t a word that he was used to hearing. Instead, he was called stupid, a waste of space, idiotic, a good fuck, worthless, and so many more condescending words. They stung every time that he heard them. 

Rita smiled back at the boy, overjoyed to see that he finally appeared to be happy. Furthermore, his heart rate was also dropping to a normal level. The boy yawned and seemed quite a bit calmer now. “I have a potion here that will help you sleep tonight. It’ll make you feel well rested in the morning. Would you like some?”

“Yes please,” Severus responded. Rita handed the potion to Severus who downed it in one gulp. He made a face at the bitter taste but his eyes closed and he fell asleep quickly enough. Rita made a note about the nightmare and suggested that Severus get a counsellor to talk to.

====  
THE NEXT MORNING

“So are you sure that the papers are ready,” The hospital’s social worker Ian Kovak asked. The twenty-something carried a cup of coffee in his hand, for he was always tired at the beginning of his shift. Also his caffeine addiction had something to do with it. 

The person he was talking to was the head of the only foster housing system in place for magical children, Vincent Randall. The foster home would rehome magical kids who weren’t in the best familial situation and place them into a more stable household until they got adopted or were able to come back home. They would be placed with all sorts of families, ranging from muggles with a magical child to a pureblooded family. “Of course I’m ready. The Merlin’s Foster Family association will now be in control for the care of Addison Fawley. I’m still waiting on the papers for Severus Snape but the anti-abuse law allows us to treat him.”

“Good. Has the system found a suitable guardian for Addison yet?” Ian asked, thinking about the timid girl who would definitely require a stable family home. 

“Unfortunately, the only family I have been able to find is one in America and their wizarding world doesn’t have as many laws protecting children. That might mean we’ll have to put her with a muggle family.” Victor responds.

“We could always have one of the doctors take care of her until a suitable guardian pops up. We’ve done that a few times. In fact, Fleamont was talking to me about fostering a child.”

“Yeah, but we’ll need written confirmation. Have you assigned Addison a therapist yet?”

“I was going to give her Marceline Vaughn as a therapist.”

“So that’s settled then?”

“I believe so.”

====

James Potter woke up to severe pain in his stomach and let out a cry of pain. A nurse immediately rushed to his side and showed him the button. Then his father walked in.

“I’m sorry about what happened James.” His father apologized.

END

So here you have it, proof that this is taking place in a newer world (the cellphone anyone). I also feel like most of the major characters that are in this story have already been introduced and that all of them have plans to be developed further. 

I chose to name this chapter after the song My Heart is Broken by Evanescence simply because Amy Lee has implied that it is a song about sex trafficking. Don’t let the name of the song fool you; there isn’t a love story happening here any time soon if ever. 

Anyways, I left this on a cliffhanger just to torture you guys. I’m very sorry about taking forever, but I’ve been busy trying to maintain really high marks in school.

You can follow me on tumblr at Internallygothic. You can request fics there if you like.

EDIT: 3/10/19 I am looking for a beta for this fic.


	7. We Build Then We Break

_ “I’m sorry about what happened James.” His father apologized. _

The boy presses the button that managed his pain and stares up at his father. Was his father truly responsible for what happened to him? Was it Fleamont’s fault at all? What had happened to him?

_ It all came rushing back. He had been cold, so cold, despite the mountain of blankets that rested atop him. His stomach rolled in protest and he was so, so nauseous. At first, he had been happy that he was sick; he got out of Pre-Hogwarts school, but now he would rather be there than suffer this pain. His stomach twisted and he leaned over the side of the bed, vomiting. He was dizzy. He cried.  _

_ Then he was in the emergency room with his mother. James became nauseous and tried to tell his mother, but vomited before he had finished his sentence. He’s told he has to get his appendix out. He’s placed in a wheelchair and then a stretcher and told to count down from ten.  _

Then he ended up here. He could choose to forgive his father or choose not to. It was a simple choice, actually. “Dad, I forgive you, you had to take care of sicker kids,” James said with a tone of longing in his voice. He wished his father would be around more so the two of them could do more things together. It just wasn’t the same with his mother. 

“Thank you, James,” Fleamont says, stroking his son’s hair.

“Can you stay Dad?” James croaked.

“I’m sorry James, but I have some people to check up on,” Fleamont apologized, patting his son on the head and leaving once more. He could see his son frowning and the hurt look in James’ eyes and he felt sorry, but unfortunately, he was working and he couldn’t spend the entire day with his son. He slowly left the room, waving.

James poked at the electrode that rested on his chest, never realizing how itchy it actually was. Had he ever been this itchy before? He scratched and scratched at himself until his hand was being held back by a warm hand. He looked up and saw a man with red hair. “James, you’re not supposed to be scratching yourself. Are you itchy at all?” The nurse asked. His nametag read  _ Nathan. _

“Yeah,” James sighed. “Very itchy.”

Nathan grabs a potion for him to drink, “This should help.”

“Thank you,” James says, guzzling down the potion. He winced slightly at the taste but downed it anyways. The itchiness dissipated immediately and James felt better. He fell back asleep.

Nathan felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked behind himself and saw Amelia. “Nathan, you’re wanted for a meeting in the staff meeting room. “I can get another nurse in your spot.”

* * *

Rita sighed, packing up her stuff. She was completely exhausted after her fourteen-hour shift in the ICU caring for the patients there.  She deeply cared for Severus Snape, but the boy took a lot of energy out of her. After he had wet the bed during his first nightmare, Rita thought that would be the last one and he would be able to get some sleep. Unfortunately for both of them, that wasn’t the case. After that event, the boy had a nightmare every hour or so. It was extremely stressful for Rita every time it happened. He was sleeping peacefully (hopefully for more than an hour this time) after he had been fed at eight in the morning.

Thankfully, the boy hadn’t wet the bed a second time. It would have damaged his already low confidence. He had already freaked out enough the first time. 

She checked her watch again,  _ 8:30.  _ Her shift was over. Severus was to be awoken later by another nurse. As soon as Rita left the room, she was approached by a tall doctor. She looked up to see the face of her colleague Allison Jacobson. “Rita, I was just about to find you,” the woman said. Since she was the head of the hospital, she didn’t wear scrubs, but rather she opted for yellow dress robes and elegant sandals, despite it being the middle of November. 

“What did you need me for?” Rita asked the doctor. 

Allison gestured for the nurse to follow her while she explained what was going on. She bit her lip. “I’m getting all of the people who have spent adequate time with Severus Snape to assemble in my office while we have a meeting. His condition, as well as his future, need to be discussed,” Alison said.

Eventually, the two of them reached the staff room and headed to the meeting room. Fleamont Potter, Emily Abioye (plus her red-headed boyfriend), Heather, Ian Kovak, Marceline Vaughn, and a few people she didn’t recognize were all there. Rita sat down in the spot in between Emily and Heather. Allison was standing, gesturing to a board that they often used for presentations. 

Rita was familiar enough with these sorts of presentations. They usually involved a group of people who had treated a patient for long enough, as well as people who were involved with the hospital’s outpatient programs.

“The reason I assembled you all here today is to discuss our patient, Severus Snape.”

* * *

One hour and forty-five minute earlier.

A blaring alarm woke Petunia up. Figuring she should get up for the day, she went to use the bathroom. She had to go back to school today; she hadn’t been to school for two weeks after the accident, mostly because of her sister’s health. Petunia missed her friends quite dearly. 

Once she got out of bed, Petunia slowly dressed in her school uniform and put her hair into a bun at the top of her head, just like what was required of her. Slowly, she got ready for her first day back at school. 

After that was figured out, she slowly made her way to the kitchen. Both of her parents were sitting at the kitchen table with steaming cups of hot coffee on placemats. Her mother was picking at a bowl of cereal while her father instead chose to eat two slices of toast while reading the daily newspaper. “Hey, sleepyhead!” Her mother teased.

“Good morning mom!” Petunia responded. She was in a pretty good mood. The family dog, Muffin, a Golden Retriever placed a paw on Petunia’s thigh, demanding attention. Petunia scratched Muffin’s head and felt her feathery-soft ears. 

Robert Evans took a sip of his coffee and declared without putting down his newspaper, “I took what you said last night into consideration and both I and your mother agree that fostering another kid isn’t the best option for us right now.” He took a bite of his toast and swallowed that down with another sip of coffee.

“Plus, while your sister has made a fantastic recovery, she still has a long way to go before we will have the time for another kid,” Rose added.

“That makes sense,” Petunia said, having never looked at it that way before. She made herself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table, glancing at the empty seat that normally Lily would sit in. Sighing, Petunia started to eat her cereal when she saw the headline on the front page of the newspaper.

**MAN ARRESTED FOR ABUSE OF CHILD. SEE A2 FOR FULL STORY**

Petunia couldn’t see any of the smaller details so she couldn’t read about what was going on _.  _ She was naturally curious towards the newspaper and what was going on in the world and this seemed rather intriguing. What would prompt someone to abuse an eight-year-old?

Soon, the three of them had finished their breakfasts. Robert drove Petunia to school and the girl couldn’t stop thinking about the small tidbit she had read. Who in their right mind would abuse someone that’s the same age as her sister?

* * *

_ 8:45 in the morning _

Lily Evans woke up, looked around, and tried to prop herself up against a pillow. This failed miserably and the only thing that she accomplished was hurting her elbow joint. She let out a hiss of pain and winced, feeling the IV in her skin. Man, did she ever hate that feeling. 

She scratched at the IV and attempted to pull it out, but something moved her hand away. Something that was completely invisible. This was quite peculiar. However, her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a shrill scream that appeared to be coming off the bed across from hers. 

Then Lily saw a nurse rush into the room. The nurse had forgotten to close the curtain behind her so Lily caught a glimpse of what was going on. There was a black-haired boy who had casts on him (just like Petunia) and he was thrashing around like there was no tomorrow. Then the nurse tried to get the boy to stop. Realizing that wasn’t going to work, the nurse pulled out a long stick and used it to make the boy’s screams silent. 

Lily looked around the room, trying to see if she had seen that boy before. Those black eyes looked eerily similar to the eyes of someone that she had used to known. Coincidentally, that person also happened to have black hair as well, a trait that was shared by the boy. It just so happened that a few days after their first year of primary school, he had mysteriously disappeared. Lily had always assumed he had moved away. 

Her stomach growled and Lily realized that she was hungry. The sensation was painful at first, but slowly she became accustomed to it. She sat in her bed, as still as a statue, waiting for something to be brought to her so she could eat. Finally, the nurse left the boy after what seemed like four hours and approached Lily. “Ms. Evans, I’m Florence. Do you need anything?”

Lily gestured to her stomach and rasped, “I’m hungry.”

The nurse took a look at the chart next to Lily’s bed and nodded, looking at it. “Unfortunately, since your esophagus sustained a little damage in the accident, I am unable to allow you to eat anything which is why you have a feeding tube. Once you get better, we can start getting you back on regular food.”

“I’m just starving,” Lily said, exaggerating. 

Lily stared as Florence took out a tube of off-white coloured liquid in a syringe and injected it into a hole in her stomach. This slowly took the edge off Lily’s hunger, however, she was still confused as to why she wasn’t eating the food like normal. 

Florence smiled down at Lily once she finished injecting everything into the stomach of the young girl. “Are you feeling better now?” She asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Perfect, I’m going to check on someone else now.”

* * *

“All of the people I have in here today with me are familiar with Severus Snape or his case in one way, shape, or form. For those who don’t know, my name is Allison Jacobson and I am the chief of medicine here. First off, I would like to introduce Ben Friesen, our officer who rescued Severus.” Allison continued, “Please describe how you found Severus.”

 

The man with the clean-shaven face and striking blue eyes began to spoke. “I rescued Severus from his house. I brought him to Merlin’s magical hospital because I knew he needed magical intervention. When I first saw him, it was clearly obvious he had been starved for quite some time. He was also naked and covered in blood,” At this point, Ben had begun to choke up. Seeing the little boy in such a position had taken a toll on the man, “And the fluids of other men. It was clear that he had been v-violated.” The man was trying to be as stoic as possible.

 

When Ben finished, he had burst into tears. Despite being a police officer for such a long time, nothing had prepared him for such a sight; plus he couldn’t imagine something so awful happening to either of his kids. 

 

Rita spoke up, “I was the first nurse to encounter him. He was emotionally distraught, he was crying when he arrived at the hospital. Furthermore, his rape tests proved that he had been raped by at least three different men, one of them being his father. He had severe anal scarring and bruises going up and down his hips suggesting that this wasn’t a one-off experience.”

 

By the time Rita finished noting her first encounter with Severus, everyone was staring at her. Fleamont spoke, “Severus’s spleen had to be removed as soon as he got here; it was ruptured by a blow to his abdomen. He also has two broken legs and a broken arm as well, plus three broken ribs. The X-ray showed that he had past bone injuries but those had thankfully healed correctly, most likely due to the boy’s magic; without it, we would have surely needed to operate and fix them.”

 

Allison nodded, growing paler in the face. Despite being accustomed to child abuse cases, this one had to be one of the worst that she had in her thirty years of being a doctor. Suspecting that Fleamont hadn’t quite reached the full story, she said, “Continue on.”

 

“Severus is also half the weight that he should be and is slightly shorter than most boys his age. This is likely due to his inadequate nutrition. Since he had his spleen removed, we will have to take extra precautions regarding his immune system. He also had an infection, likely due to one of the lashes on his back, and that lead to sepsis. That has been treated and I hope to get him out of the ICU soon.”

 

“Does anyone have any suggestions for the care of Severus?” Allison asked, already knowing what would need to be done. She knew that the boy would need to see a therapist and possibly receive mind-healing. After they discussed that, Allison knew that the hardest part was yet to begin; all of the nurses would leave the room (except for Rita as she seemed to click with the boy) and the remainder of the people would discuss Severus’ father and what he had done to the boy. They would discuss the upcoming court case and what would happen to Severus once he was released from the hospital.

 

“The boy needs an automatic morphine drip. He refused to take any medication because he saw himself as unworthy,” Rita said, noticing Heather nod. “It took me forever to convince him that he didn’t need to be in pain.”

 

“That we can accomplish. However, normally we need parental permission to do such a thing so that might pose a problem. In that case, I will sign as his guardian. Is there anything else I should note about Severus?”

 

Rita spoke up once more, “I suspect that he’s been raped by multiple men-”

 

Ben interrupted. He couldn’t stop thinking of that situation, damn it! “I witnessed his father selling his son at the bar! It’s obvious that Severus was sold into sexual slavery! Not to mention, he was already raped by two different men!”

 

Rita nodded at the man and continued speaking, “As Ben mentioned, Severus was raped by multiple men. He likely suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; he’s afraid to be around men. Both Fleamont and Nathan can confirm this. Not only this, but he has a problem with wetting the bed. He can’t control it, but he feels like it’s always his fault. I suspect he was beaten for it and associates it strongly with pain.”

 

“Now I ask that Emily, Nathan, and Heather to leave the room so we can discuss the boy’s treatment plan.”

 

* * *

 

Severus had another nightmare about his father and what he had done to him. This had woken him up and caused him to scream, likely because this was the first time he had been permitted to do so. A nurse had come into his room.

 

When the nurse had cast that spell on him, Severus knew that he was going to be done for. The nurse had explained that no one would be able to hear him scream anymore. However, he didn’t realize that the only reason that the nurse was casting the spell was because he was waking everyone else up and his screaming was scaring everyone. 

 

He thrashed around, afraid of the nurse. Not only was he afraid, but he was also in pain. Through his pain, he noticed something else, his stomach hurt extremely badly. The food he had been given this morning had involved some oatmeal and cream of wheat, foods that were more solid than last night’s.

 

The brown haired nurse was adjusting the machine that was attached to the needle in his arm. With each second that passed, he began to feel sicker. The nurse examined the stitches on his stomach. At this point, the nausea was too much for Severus to handle and he threw up. It got all over himself and the nurse.

 

“YOU STUPID HALFBLOOD FREAK!” The nurse yelled, slapping Severus in the face. This caused him to start crying and the nurse realized the error of her ways. “If you tell anyone what I did to you, I will make sure that your father will find you.”

 

She magicked away all of the vomit and slapped him in the face again, taking advantage of the silencing charm. Severus cried harder, afraid of this new nurse. He wanted one of the other nurses back! 

 

“You are such a baby,” The nurse said. She left the silencing charm on Severus and left the area. Then she erased her name on the whiteboard, erasing all evidence that she had treated him. The half blood didn’t even know her name so she was safe. 

 

* * *

 

The three nurses left the room, leaving everyone else behind. “Tobias Snape is currently in custody and has his first court case in front of the Wizengamot in two weeks and then muggle court. Marceline, that’s where you come in. You are to get memories from Severus so they can be used in front of the court. If Tobias is convicted, he will be sentenced to Muggle Prison.” Allison said.

 

Marceline, a woman with straight black hair, ebony eyes, and pale skin, spoke up in her quiet and airy voice, “If we are to get the memories from him, is it fair to subject him to them once again?”

 

“You can use my memories,” Rita spoke up. Everyone stared at the young nurse and she continued, “I was the first person to treat Severus. I did the rape kit test on him as well as had him sent to an emergency surgery consultation.”

 

“That’s completely true, however, I will need the boy’s memories in order to get his father placed behind bars.”

 

“You already have Rita’s! It’s not fair to subject Severus to the same memories. Besides, considering the state that you said that he’s in, I’m pretty sure that means that there’s at least a year of memories. If you force him to remember those all at once, that could be hazardous-- no, detrimental to his emotional and mental health.”

 

“That’s fair enough. We could get Ben’s memories as well,” Allison said, gesturing towards the police officer.

 

“I guess,” Ben muttered, barely loud enough for anyone to hear him. He fidgeted nervously, not wanting to have to have the very thing he wished to forget brought to the front of his mind again.

 

“Now, once Severus is finished treatment, he will need a family to stay with. Tobias will be in jail which makes him ineligible,” Ian said, taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“We don’t have enough families available though!” A plump woman by the name of Maria asked. 

 

“Can’t you just recruit more?”

 

“Unfortunately, no, that’s not how it works. We would have to run extensive background checks and interviews in order to make sure someone is equipped to handle someone like Severus. Fortunately, tests like those take two months at the most. I believe that’s the minimum amount of time Severus will be spending in the hospital.”

 

“That’s correct,” Fleamont said, “At a minimum, he will likely need two more surgeries-- he has to get more tissue from his ruptured spleen out, -if we had waited another hour, he would have died,- and one to fix his ribs which have been broken numerous times. At most, it could be six months.”

 

“This meeting is now concluded. I may decide to host one at a later date.” Allison said.

 

Rita had a gut feeling that she should check on Severus so as soon as the meeting was over, she left the room.

 

* * *

 

Severus laid in his hospital bed, not doing anything, long after the horrible nurse had left. The young boy was afraid that she would come back and hurt him again. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything worse than what his father did. 

 

The curtain around his bed slowly opened and Severus winced, prepared to have that rachedy woman come back. He flinched but loosened up when he saw that it was just Rita. 

 

“Sev, there’s no nurse that’s caring for you today!” Rita said, not noticing the flinch in Severus’ eyes. “I’ll need to find one for you.”

“Can you do it?” Severus whined.

 

Rita shook her head and asked, “Do you want Heather?”

 

Severus reluctantly nodded.

 

“I’ll go see if she is available.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, another chapter. Can I explain how happy I am to have finally realized that there is a rich text editor on AO3? That makes me so happy and saved me five minutes of my life.
> 
> Anyways, we've encountered one of the main villains in the story (other than Tobias). I would like to say that she is kind of like Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, but I'm not completely sure how I will flesh her out. But (unfortunately for Severus), she will be making more appearances later in the story.
> 
> Anyways, I've decided that I will only update this story on Fridays, and the updates could be anywhere from two weeks to a month apart. I am a busy person so I am not able to write constantly (besides I don't always have the inspiration to write) so I will have big variances. 
> 
> The title of this chapter comes from the song 'We Build Then We Break' by The Fray.
> 
> I still need a beta for this story.
> 
> My tumblr is @internallygothic


	8. Just What to Say

` Rita leaves the room, unbelievably tired and on the search for Heather. She heads to the break room first, hoping she’d find Heather there. Unfortunately, the short nurse wasn’t there. However, a lanky Nathan was sitting at a table, drinking his coffee. 

 

“Have you seen Heather anywhere?” Rita asks, hoping the man would provide some insight on where the female nurse had disappeared off to. 

 

Nathan shook his head, “Unfortunately, she just left because the Fawley girl had another seizure. They’re taking her for a brain CT scan because there’s no explanation for her seizures and medication isn’t preventing them anymore.”

 

“That’s no good, but I need a nurse for Severus, my shift ended three hours ago and I can’t possibly care for him any longer. Are you busy?” she asked, hoping Nathan would be able to provide care for her patient. 

 

“I was caring for James Potter, but Katrina took over for me when I was called to the meeting. She’ll be fine with caring for him for the rest of her day.” 

 

“Thank you so much!” Rita thanked as she clocked out, gathered her belongings, and flooed home, exhausted. As soon as she got home, she jumped into bed and slept.

 

Nathan thought to himself,  _ How hard could it be to take care of Severus this time. He should be more used to men by now. _

 

Little did he know how wrong he was.

====

People were everywhere, all around me. “Addison you’re going for a brain CT scan. We need to see what’s causing your seizures,” an unfamiliar nurse said. My Doctor, Doctor Potter was also right beside her. 

 

I looked at my chest and noticed that I had puked on myself. I gagged (the smell was extremely vile), I was about to be sick once more. The nurse placed a bucket under my chin as I retched, expelling the contents of my stomach. I heaved until there was nothing left and even after that, I heaved some more. “Addison, are you feeling better?” Doctor Potter pulled out his wand and magicked the vomit away, leaving me clean.

 

I groaned and shook my head. I had the worst headache imaginable and I wanted to cry out in pain. Another wave of nausea took over me but I just heaved and heaved; there was nothing in my stomach for me to puke up this time. Once again, the bucket was placed under my chin. “My head really hurts,” I cried, tears slowly pouring out of my eyes. “Fleamont, we need to take her down and get her the scan,” the nurse said. Then she shifted the subject and introduced herself, “I’m nurse Heather,”

 

The pain steadily got worse and I couldn’t help but scream, “Shh, it’s okay. On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your pain.”

 

“Ten,” I said without hesitating. My head hurt so much. 

 

Heather passed me a button and said, “This is your pain button. If you’re in too much pain, press it and there will be some medicine that comes in through your IV that will make you feel better.”

 

I pressed it over and over again, wanting the pain to go away. Finally, after thirty seconds it lowered to a manageable level. The nurses moved me into a wheelchair and wheeled me to a strange place. “Addison, we’re going to have you go into a machine that examines you. There’s going to be a fluid injected into you that will make you feel warm and might make you feel like you have to go to the bathroom,” Heather explained.

 

They moved me onto a plate that went into a circular tube. “Are you ready,” Heather asked.

“Yes,” I whispered. The plate began to move and I heard a person say, “Stay as still as possible.” so I froze, not letting myself move. A weird feeling hit me and I felt a metallic taste in my mouth, not dissimilar to the one that I tasted while under the cruciatus curse.

 

_ “You fool,” Dad yelled, kicking me to the ground. I hit the ground with a loud thud. “Why did you break my precious vase?” _

 

_ “I didn’t mean to!” I insisted, scooching away from him. He pulled out his wand and yelled, “Crucio.” _

 

_ I screamed and thrashed on the ground. Someone had set me on fire! It hurt so badly, I couldn’t help but scream. Despite being under this curse multiple times, it always hurt the same. In the background, I could hear Dad lecturing me about being so clumsy. I was in too much pain to focus on his words.  _

 

_ It still hurt after being under it for longer and longer and each second hurt more than the last. My vocal cords were raw from screaming and my vision started to go black.  _

 

I looked up at Heather once the spinning and the movement stopped and she had a look of confusion on her face. “Addison, are you okay?” she asked.

 

I winced but nodded. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room. The test results will be ready at any moment. I’m going to help you back into your wheelchair and have you wait in a room.”

 

Everything around me went out of focus and it seemed that for a second, Heather’s mouth was moving but no words were coming out. Such a thing had happened quite a few times before but they seemed to be happening more and more often. The pain came back and I reached for the button and pushed it a few times. I was brought to a strange room where I was placed on a bed and a curtain was drawn around me. 

 

Doctor Potter walked into my room and whispered to Heather. I groaned whilst they did so, my head pounding once more. “We’re going to have to rush you into emergency surgery, Addison. We found something in your brain and we need to remove it because it is causing the headaches you are complaining of.”

 

I gasped, “There’s an opening soon. We’re going to have to shave your head because we need to operate on the brain.”

 

“NO!” I screamed, clutching my hair. It was matted and greasy. “It’s my hair!”

 

“If we don’t shave it, we can’t do surgery. However, there are some nice hats that you can wear and I’ll bring you a nice one after surgery, okay?” Heather promised. 

 

_ “No,”  _ I insisted, grabbing it tighter and trying to get as far from this woman as possible. I couldn’t let her touch my hair. I didn’t want to be  _ bald.  _ Everyone would laugh at me and call me names. 

 

Heather looked at me and sighed, unsure of what she could do. “Why don’t you want your head to be shaved?”

 

“You’ll laugh at me,” I stated.

 

“I promise you that I won’t,” Heather said. The curtain moved and a bald man walked into my room. I worried,  _ what if that’s what I look like after I’m done with this _ ? “Hello Addison, I am Doctor Martell and I will be performing your surgery today. You have a tumour in the temporal lobe of your brain which is the area that controls hearing and taste. I will be removing it as it has also been causing your seizures and painful headaches.”

 

I looked up at the doctor feeling a little dizzy. This made me sick to my stomach and I groaned, biting my tongue to stop myself from throwing up. “The surgery is likely to take from three to six hours and it’ll take you a month to recover from it.”

 

Heather grabbed a buzzing object and whispered, “Addison, I’m going to shave your head now. I promise you that no one will make fun of you.”

 

I winced as the object was pressed against my head and I cried as I saw the blonde chunks of hair fall to the ground. Everything that happened next went in a blur from my head being marked with markers to me being brought to a strange room where I was under a bright light.

 

Before I knew it, I was being told to count down from ten.

 

====

 

“And so what do 176 and 82 add up to Remus?” His tutor, Mei Yang asked. She was an older lady who was of Chinese descent. Her family had fled to Scotland during the rule of communism. At the age of eleven, she had received an invitation to go to Hogwarts which was surprising, considering she was a muggleborn. Her family supported her and she met her future husband there who she later married and had three kids with him. 

 

After Hogwarts, she had decided to leave the wizarding world for a while and receive university education to teach primary and had taught it for a couple of years. Then she received a letter from the Merlin’s children’s hospital where she was invited to teach sick kids that were stuck there. She took that position in a heartbeat, leading to her teaching Remus, a rather bright kid.

 

“Mrs. Yang, I don’t know,” Remus admitted. His mind wasn’t really focusing on maths. He focused more on the girl who had just left, the one the doctors were constantly focusing on.  The girl made him feel unimportant, but that didn’t matter.

 

And then there was Severus, his first ‘friend’. Remus wasn’t even sure if the black-haired boy could even be called his friend. In fact, the two of them had spent less than twelve hours in the same room before the new girl was moved in. Remus thought her name was Addison or something. 

 

“Remus, you’re normally really good with math. What happened.” Mrs. Yang asked.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

====

 

James moaned as the incision on his stomach seared with fiery pain. He was doing better without his appendix but he was still septic and was stuck in the intensive care unit until his fever went down to manageable levels. So far, he was still at risk of his organs shutting down.

 

A nurse with medium length brown curly hair and hazel eyes looked down at James. “Here’s your morphine button. If it won’t work, I’ll get something that works even better, okay?”

 

James whimpered in response, grasping the button and pushing it down. The nurse reached under the bed and pulled out a brown teddy bear with a blue ribbon tied around its neck. James’ eyes widened and he looked shocked; his one teddy bear had been left at home and he kind of missed it. “Thank you,” he whispered.

 

“I forgot to introduce myself; my name is nurse Katrina.” She considered offering her hand out for the boy to shake but eventually decided against it, determining that such an action was unnecessary. She would do it if she were talking to an adult but this was a child, one whom she seemed to understand. The nurse had spent her childhood in and out of hospitals. 

 

Katrina cast a quick charm on James to determine his internal body temperature. She could have easily used a thermometer but because James came from a pureblooded family, she assumed that it would be safer and more effective to use the charm. 

 

She wrote it down in James’ chart.  _ 38.5 degrees. That’s still quite high but better than the 38.7 he was at six hours ago. Hopefully, it continues to drop,  _ Katrina thought to herself. 

 

Sighing, Katrina remembered that one time she had been stuck in the hospital for three months following surgery to repair her heart. She had been born with a heart deformation which required multiple surgeries as she grew up to fix. This one had such a long recovery period.  

 

Her nurses had been extremely kind and they were very helpful when it came to treating her ailments. She always felt like she was receiving quality treatment. There was this one nurse that gave her a teddy bear once. This had made Katrina extremely jubilant and she still had it laying in her room somewhere. 

 

Looking back on it, Katrina wasn’t bitter about having a hospital childhood. She got to meet many people, kind nurses and learnt what her dream job was. At the same time, she also learnt who she was and what she wanted. Had she not spent that time in the hospital, the curly-haired nurse did not know where she would end up. 

 

James’ eyes were closing and Katrina cast another spell on him, this time checking for his heart rate and blood pressure. She found both to be fairly normal; a good sign, especially for someone who was formerly showing signs of sepsis. In fact, James was improving and might even end up leaving the hospital in a week. 

 

But for now, he was sleeping fairly comfortably which was quite good.

 

====

 

Nathan entered the intensive care unit looking for Severus. Katrina nodded at him and said, “I think Severus is across from James.” Since James was right by Katrina, the greasy-haired kid was fairly easy to find.

 

However, Severus wasn’t in the best mood. When Rita had come by earlier, she had removed the charm that had been placed on him, yet Severus was too scared to cry. There was still hope though. When Rita left, she said that she would try to bring Heather back as his nurse. 

 

When he saw Nathan, Severus’ heart plummeted. The nurse scared him. It was a terrible day already, with that nurse who had come along and abused him. Now he had to deal with Nathan? He couldn’t control the shaking that took control of his body and the pain that came along with it. He was scared; so scared of Nathan. He didn’t want Nathan to beat him.

 

As Nathan drew closer, Severus became more and more scared; He didn’t trust the man at all. The only man that he trusted was his doctor and even then, that wasn’t very much. 

 

Nathan noticed that the black haired boy wasn’t faring too well. Every step he took towards Severus made the boy shake harder and harder. Nathan needed to check the vital signs of the boy but he feared that he wouldn’t be able to approach the boy. “Severus, I’m not going to hurt you,” Nathan said in an attempt to calm him down.

 

Unfortunately, this didn’t work and Severus continued to shake harder than ever. Nathan realized that he couldn’t win the battle and desperately searched for a solution. He took a look at Severus’ chart, ignoring the tears the pooled down his cheeks. One thing that stood out was the note that mentioned that Severus was scared of most men.  _ No shit Sherlock. When I tried to clean the boy up after he wet the bed, he freaked out. It wasn’t until my girlfriend went in that he calmed down.  Why did I think that he’d be better after one day? Am I crazy?  _

 

Nathan knew that he had to make a choice. His girlfriend Emily was at home because she had a day off so he could call her and ask her for some help or he could ask Katrina to help. Before he had been called to the meeting, he had been in charge of treating James for the day so it would be fairly easy to switch with Katrina, but Severus knew Emily more and was more likely to cooperate if she treated him.

 

He decided that it would be best to get Katrina to do it. “Katrina,” he called.

 

The slightly eccentric nurse looked up from James’ chart and asked, “Yes Nathan.”

 

“Are you able to switch with me?”

 

“Of course,” Katrina said, switching positions with Nathan and handing him James’ chart. Severus looked almost relieved at the prospect of having Katrina as his nurse. The curly-haired nurse grabbed Severus’ chart from Nathan and began to look through it. There were notes about recommendations for a feeding tube and the incessant bedwetting that the boy suffered from. 

 

_ It is prudent that Severus meets with the hospital psychologist. The boy is suffering from symptoms of PTSD and will likely need therapy. He wets the bed every night due to the abuse he suffered and without therapy, it will not go away. _

 

_ Severus will likely need more surgery regarding his spleen (to remove more tissue) and to fix his ribs. _

 

_ The boy will eat at 8:00am, 10:30, 12:00, 2:30, 4:00, and 6:30. This diet will hopefully eliminate the need for a feeding tube. He is to eat liquid foods and stuff that is easy for his stomach to digest. _

 

_ The boy has asthma and is required to use an inhaler. _

 

At the last note, Katrina looked at her watch. She realized that it was almost time for Severus’ next meal. She phoned the kitchen from the ICU and let them know that she needed something for the boy to eat. After a few seconds, oatmeal and pureed fruit appeared on a tray. She brought the food over to Severus who eyed up the food hungrily.

 

“Severus, it’s time for you to eat,” Katrina said, helping the boy sit up. She placed the tray over his legs and fed him, helping the boy eat his food. 

 

Severus ate the food quickly but by the time he was halfway finished, he felt extremely full to the stomach, as though he couldn’t eat another bite. He didn’t tell Katrina though; he was too scared that this would be the last meal he’d eat for the day. When he didn’t complain, he got food and Severus planned on keeping it that way. 

 

As he continued to eat, his stomach began to hurt more and more. “Severus, you’re all done now,” Katrina softly spoke, trying not to startle the boy. 

 

Severus began to pale. The whole world began to spin and he got dizzier and dizzier. His stomach hurt and he was going to throw up. “Are you okay?” Katrina asked

 

The boy shook his head, unable to talk, otherwise he’d vomit on himself. He didn’t want this nurse to slap him because he threw up so Severus kept his mouth closed. By his logic, if he didn’t open his mouth, he couldn’t vomit.

 

Katrina noticed the discomfort of her patient and quickly grabbed a bedpan, handing it to the boy who began puking. She held the pan (she was used to having patients throw up and she had seen things that were grosser. This wasn’t even that bad by that logic) with one hand and rubbed Severus’ back with the other. “You’re going to be okay,” Katrina said, surprised that the boy wasn’t crying.

 

“Please don’t hit me,” Severus whimpered after his stomach had been emptied.

 

“I would never do such a thing,” Katrina said. She pulled out her wand and grabbed a pillow. Silently, she turned that pillow into a stuffed bear and handed it to Severus who looked at her with wide eyes. “This is for you.”

 

“Thank you!” Severus said, trying to hug the girl. Unfortunately, he couldn’t because of the state of his arm and legs. However, this didn’t stop him when Katrina hugged him. 

 

Maybe things were beginning to improve for the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I’m extremely sorry for the wait. I’ve been working on this chapter for so long now, but I found that I struggled a bit with writing it. I also had a pretty hard semester (but I completely ROCKED it) and I focused on that before I wrote. I didn’t have time to beta this myself, so if you find any mistakes, I would appreciate it if you pointed them out to me. I'm also looking for a beta. 
> 
> Furthermore, I hoped that you enjoyed this chapter. The title of this chapter comes from the song "Just What to Say" by Dashboard Confessional.


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